media
{ Unconventional Ways Couples Met }
Tuesday, October 30th, 2012 | media, trends | No Comments
Thanks to our friends at thenest.com for this fun article:
Walking down the aisle together
Hometown: Jacksonville, FL
Married: October 20, 2007
It was their best friend’s wedding in 2003: Sara was a bridesmaid and Patrick was a groomsman. “We were introduced during the rehearsal, and we walked down the aisle together,” says Sara. “At the rehearsal dinner, Sara’s table was by the buffet, and I got up to refill my plate six times as an excuse to talk to her,” admits Patrick. Adds Sara, “We dated long distance for six months; then I moved to Jacksonville. Eventually we talked down the aisle again- but this time it was for real!”
In a virtual world
Hometown: Seacaucus, NJ
Married: April 25, 2008
The couple first met at Tiki Cove Plaza- but wait a sec, it’s not an actual plaza. It exists in a virtual world called There.com, and their two animated avatars started “hanging out.” After a year of virtual dating, they decided to try it for real. “We were both nervous,” says Megan. “But we really hit it off!” They dated in real life for another year before deciding to get hitched. Their wedding was in New Jersey, and a virtual one (yep, they exist!) was on There.com for online friends.
In front of a mailbox
Hometown: Atlanta, GA
Married: August 12th, 2006
When Cedric moved into Maria’s building, her pal (who happened to be the building manager) told her they had to meet. “I stalked the common areas and saw him at the mailboxes on day,” says Maria. “I helped her carry her bags onto the elevator, and when she got off, I said, ‘If you ever need anything, I’m in 3104,’” Cedric remembers. Later that night, she knocked on his door and asked him out. “A year later, I proposed… by the mailboxes, of course,” says Cedric.
In the waiting room of a Dr.’s office
Hometown: Austin, TX
Married: September 13th, 2008
Jen had pulled a muscle in her back, and Mike had an earache. They both ended up in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, and Mike struck up a conversation with Jen. “I never, ever imagined I’d meet my future husband in a waiting room, much less while I was barely able to walk due to major back pain, but I guess it happens when it happens,” says Jen. “This all went down before the movie Garden State came out,” says Mike. “We think they stole our story for that movie.”
At an Arizona Cardinals game
Hometown: Phoenix, AZ
Married: January 24th, 2009
“I bought season tickets to the Cardinals and went to every game,” says Charlotte. “But I didn’t notice this handsome, sweet, smart man sitting next to me every weekend.” During a particular lackluster game, the two started talking. “I had convinced this kid in front of us to give Charlotte some of his cotton candy. I knew that sealed the deal,” laughs John. “At the last game, she gave me her business card. I emailed her right after the game and asked her out.”
At nursery school
Hometown: San Francisco, CA
Married: July 11, 2003
“Alex and his friends were playing Star Wars at nursery school,” recalls Emma. “He was Luke and let me be Leia.” The two stayed friends all though college, where they were roommates. “After grad school, we moved to NYC and rented a one-bedroom apartment, and fate said enough was enough,” says Emma. “We became a couple, to the amusement of our friends, and got married. It’s funny…. We’ve known each other longer than our younger siblings!”
– Melissa Walker
http://ideas.thenest.com/love-and-sex-advice/real-couples/articles/how-couples-met.aspx?cm_ven=Responsys&cm_cat=Nest&cm_pla=Newsletter&cm_ite=October%2030,%202012&MsdVisit=1
{ to destination or not to destination…? }
Friday, October 12th, 2012 | Q&A, Uncategorized, etiquette, media | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
Q. My fiancée and I can’t quite decide what to do about our wedding. She is the youngest of 10 kids and her immediate family alone now numbers about 52 people, not to mention all the cousins and aunts and uncles. I have three siblings (all married with kids), countless aunts, uncles and cousins, and my parents are both re-married. By the time we actually start inviting all of our friends our guest list will be huge. We’re actually considering a destination wedding because we know very few of them could afford to attend, but we’re not sure we’d be happy with this decision. What should we do?
A. The guest list can be one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding - even without such an expansive family tree. Destination weddings are increasingly popular for many reasons. Although thinning out the guest list often falls near the top of the list, it’s not the best reason to run off to the islands to get married.
“Is there really a bad reason to get married barefoot on the beach at sunset?” you ask… Actually there is. It really depends on what you want to remember from your wedding day - the pool boy bringing you a Mai Tai in a coconut as soon as you say “I do,” or that your family was there to share it with you.
Destination weddings can be wonderful if you choose a place that has particular meaning to you as a couple. Many resorts do a lovely job with weddings, however most of the time it’s a crap shoot what kind of officiant, flowers and photographer you’ll end up with, so do lots of research before you choose a location. You also want to look into residency requirements - some islands require you to be there several days before you can get a marriage license.
If you do decide to opt for a destination wedding to avoid feeding all 52 of your fiancée’s immediate family (yikes!), just make sure you do a good job of selling them on your penchant for fruity umbrella drinks so no one gets offended. Aloha!
http://www.mystylishwedding.com/store/destination-wedding/paradise-in-vellum-wedding-invitation-set
{ That’s Why God Invented Babysitters! }
Friday, September 28th, 2012 | Q&A, etiquette, media | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, OCTOBER 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
Q. My husband and I just got married and we had a really lovely wedding, except there’s one thing that is really bugging me. We had both decided not to have any children at our wedding, both because of the type of wedding we wanted and because we had such a small wedding, our guest list was very limited. Friends of my husband asked him about our opinion of kids at the wedding and he told them that a good gift to us would be a baby sitter as we were not having any kids at either the ceremony or reception. The first thing I saw, and heard, as I entered the church to walk down the aisle was this couple with their children, including their newborn. Am I off base or was this totally out of line?
A. I have three words for you: tacky, tacky, and tacky! Not only were his friends rude and inconsiderate, but they can’t even claim ignorance as you had a specific conversation about your decision to have a child-free wedding.
Regardless whether you are having a small or large wedding it is completely appropriate to choose not to have children at your wedding celebration. The day should reflect you as a couple, and if there are no children you are close to, or if you wish to have a “grown-up” event, there is absolutely no reason you should feel obligated to include any children on your invite list.
The best way to handle this is to be consistent: if you don’t want lots of children, don’t invite any - however, it is also ok to only invite children over a certain age. Some couples want only certain kids, for example their nieces and nephews, but no others. This choice isn’t particularly appropriate etiquette, so you need to be prepared for a little backlash.
To all prospective wedding guests out there - it has been said before, but apparently it bears repeating: IF YOUR NAME IS NOT ON THE INVITATION - YOU ARE NOT INVITED!! This includes your children, the guy you started dating last Tuesday and that unexpected house guest you need to keep entertained.
You are completely correct to be ticked off at your husband’s friends - they were totally out-of-line. As to how you should handle it now - well, that’s entirely up to you - but you should probably set a couple extra places at the table the next time you invite them over for dinner, just in case…
P.S. If it is too problematic to “not” invite the children - consider setting up a kid’s room - hire a team of babysitters and stock it full of kid-friendly fun - they’ll be nearby so their parents can check on them - you’ll get the child-free wedding you desire and you don’t have to have that sometimes uncomfortable conversation with your guests.
{ eeek…bridezilla!! }
Friday, September 21st, 2012 | Q&A, media, testimonials | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, JUNE 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
image credit: Alex Eben Meyer (http://www.eben.com)
Q. My best friend is getting married in a few months and I am so happy for her, but in the six months since she got engaged she’s changed into a totally different person. She never wants to discuss anything but the wedding and she’s obsessing about every single detail. Since I announced I’m pregnant she no longer wants me to be her bridesmaid because I won’t look good in the wedding photos. She’s gone completely crazy, is there anything I can do to snap her out of it?
A. Alas, I fear Bridezilla has reared her ugly head:
bridezilla (brId-ZILL-uh) n. A bride-to-be who, while planning her wedding, becomes exceptionally selfish, greedy, and obnoxious.
Bridezillas are a new breed of brides who abuse the idea that weddings are their day to get exactly what they want. They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette. Their sole desire is to be the single most important person on the planet from the time of engagement right up until the last dance at their wedding.
Here are some tell-tale signs that someone you love might be turning into a Bridezilla:
-The bride is incapable of discussing any subject other than her wedding.
-The bride barely eats so she can fit into her dress and then complains that she’s hungry all the time.
-The bride obsessively watches what her bridal party is eating and gasps every time anyone reaches for a cookie.
-The mother-of-the-bride and the maid-of-honour are beginning to feel like medieval footservants.
-The bride chooses couture bridesmaid dresses, even though most of her friends are on a budget. She does not, however, offer to pay.
-When the bride is discussing all the details of her wedding (which she does to every person who crosses her path) you can’t help but picture more “Bride of Frankenstein” than “Princess Bride.”
-The bride is thrilled when her groom is sent away on business (“Finally, he’ll stop interfering in all of my plans…”).
Your friend may have been the sweetest girl you knew before she got engaged, but once a bride falls to the dark side, there’s very little you can do but grin and breathe deeply (slipping the bride a valium couldn’t hurt either). So, take a deep breath and count the days until your friend returns to her normal self. In the meantime…be afraid, be very afraid.
{ it’s all a matter of perspective }
Friday, September 14th, 2012 | Q&A, Uncategorized, etiquette, media | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, JANUARY 2006, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…” { The long road from happy engagement to wedded bliss is paved with potential etiquette faux pas. Wedding planner Lisa Hanslip is here to help you resist your inner Bridezilla along the way. }
Q. My fiancé and I are planning to get married in about eight months, but we haven’t made many plans yet because we can’t seem to agree on what the wedding should look like. As this is the second marriage for both of us I would like a small intimate event. My fiancé on the other hand comes from a very large family and is expecting a large celebration. Do you have any suggestions how we can plan a wedding that will make everyone happy?
A. A wedding is not just a celebration of the union of two people, but more often than not, it is the joining of two families - which brings with it a veritable treasure trove of opposing traditions and expectations. If the meeting of the in-laws doesn’t tragically mirror a scene from Meet the Fockers consider yourself lucky.
A good compromise in many situations is to split the difference - but I don’t think a medium-sized ceremony and reception will satisfy either side - you’ll still feel like the event was much bigger than you were hoping for (“There were 150 people at my wedding, it was a total zoo!”) - and your fiancé’s family will inevitably deem the moderate guest list too small (“How can we possibly have a proper wedding celebration with only 150 people?!?”).
You might consider having a small intimate ceremony with just your immediate family and closest friends followed by a large celebration later in the day. This way you’ll have the memory of a ceremony that reflected your sensibilities while your fiancé and his family can relish tales of the big bash.
Another option is to have the large wedding your fiancé’s family is hoping for, followed by a small gathering. Try a morning ceremony followed by a raucous afternoon reception - then in the evening you can sit down to an intimate dinner for just immediate family.
Whatever you decide to do - make sure it is a solution that doesn’t leave either of you disgruntled. Focus on what you two need from your day, even if that means ignoring your families. It doesn’t bode well if one of you spends your wedding night on the sofa (because that only leads to a honeymoon spent on the marriage counselor’s couch - and that’s no good for anybody).
{ murphy’s law vs. bride }
Friday, September 7th, 2012 | Q&A, etiquette, media | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
Q. My sister got married last weekend and it seemed like every possible thing that could go wrong, did. The make-up artist showed up really late, the beautiful vintage car she had booked broke down, the Videographer missed the entire processional and shot the whole thing focused on the back of their heads, the hotel misplaced their engraved cake knife, and the bridesmaids’ dresses didn’t arrive until 2 days after the wedding. I’m getting married in the spring and although I wasn’t worried about anything, I’m now terrified about all the things that can go wrong. Is there any way to make sure these things don’t happen at my wedding?
A. Yikes! Your sister is apparently the Murphy’s Law poster-child. It’s difficult to plan a wedding without something going awry along the way (and thankfully equally hard to plan a wedding with everything going wrong). A lot of the mishaps at your sister’s wedding could not have been prevented - but planning for acceptable alternatives can help.
Most contracts are written to protect the vendor not the client, so keep that in mind when you’re reading them over. There is almost always a clause pertaining to the “what ifs…” - think about what contingency would make you happy - and don’t be shy to at least suggest it to them. For example, if the car you booked breaks down or is otherwise unavailable - ask to have it written into your contract that the driver will come fetch you in an ancient Egyptian litter (a la Cleopatra) rather than merely substituting a car of equal value. It is highly unlikely they will actually agree to this, mind you, but the mere thought of it may give your sister some satisfaction.
Before booking any vendor, ask about their background, and don’t choose simply based on price. Discuss potential problems with them at the time - it is a lot less stressful to think about these things prior to your wedding.
To help deal with any hiccups on your big day, have a list of all the vendors involved and contact numbers. Another great way to help alleviate stress: Have an emergency kit so you can tackle any last minute problems like a torn dress (which you caught on the door as you were running in because your limo broke down), too few boutonnieres (because the florist didn’t think you were actually serious about there being 12 groomsmen), a missing ring (because the jeweller didn’t quite finish and you don’t want to have to borrow your cousin’s skull ring), or bad breath (because corn nuts are your favorite comfort food - and it seemed like a good idea this morning ).
So…read over your contracts….then pucker up and enjoy that first kiss (breath mint anyone?)!
{ pretty with prose }
Friday, August 17th, 2012 | media, testimonials, trends | No Comments
We just stumbled across some new photos of this lovely wedding we did last year - just in time to wish Jani + Colin a very happy 1st anniversary. Below are some of the “new” photos (taken by the very talented Kristi Sneddon).
photo credit: Kristi Sneddon
photo credit: Kristi Sneddon
The Wedding
Taking inspiration from favourite old movies and their love for writing (Jani is a writer and Colin a PhD in English), the couple began to dream of a shabby chic wedding style incorporating their love for the written word. A colour palette of teal and charcoal with pops of pink, red, and yellow set the tone they were looking for, but after finding out that the venue they booked had been turned into a rave club, they had to start fresh. A hotel was chosen for both the ceremony and reception, where they were wed in a beautiful poolside ceremony. A navy aisle runner with a sparkly teal monogram lined by votives in mason jars lead the way to the altar. Both the bride and groom had composed a short piece about their love for each other to incorporate into their vows: “Colin’s note was beautiful—complete poetry. That moment, and the rush of joy walking back down the aisle as a married couple are my favourite memories. There was so much love it was palpable!” says the bride.
When it came to planning the reception…things started with the decision to incorporate their personal collection of antique typewriters and as much text as possible. So, the typewriters replaced the traditional guestbook, guests typed notes to the happy couple before finding their seat. A stack of old books was placed on each table, topping a pewter pintuck linen with teal runner. On top of each stack of books was either a vintage-looking candelabra or small arrangement of flowers, with small posies and votives scattered throughout the tables. Custom table numbers were displayed with small vintage typewriters, and a custom seating chart and matching menus finished the look. Pink and yellow paper lanterns added a fun vibe to the space, while the photographer set up a photo booth that kept the guests busy and lined up all night long. The five-tiered cake was decorated to suit the couple’s fashion, featuring lines of poetry iced onto the cake and topped with a feather pen.
(http://weddingsinalberta.com/realweddings.php?articleId=899&image=7)
It was very quirky & unique while still being elegant & inviting. Every element had lots of character…just like the bride & groom!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY xo
{ man of honour…or…how to have a guy as your bridesmaid }
Friday, April 27th, 2012 | Q&A, etiquette, media | No Comments
I know I’ve already blogged about having male bridesmaids and honour attendants of the opposite sex - but as it is a topic that comes up time and again with clients I thought it bears repeating. I think my first experience with this was a female “best man” in the mid-nineties sometime. She wore a floor-length strapless black gown and looked just lovely - and not even a little out of place - standing between the groom and the groomsmen.
I feel very strongly that you have the person or persons that mean most to you standing next to you while you get married - regardless of gender. You don’t need to have 4 attendants because your soon-to-be spouse is having 4 attendants. You don’t have to have them all in the same outfit (in fact, please don’t!!) - it’s great to infuse some character into your bridal party. And, you definitely don’t have to have female attendants because you’re the bride, nor male attendants because you’re the groom. We have had lots of “men of honour”s and “best women” over the years and it’s always perfectly appropriate - regardless if you’re having a religious or secular ceremony.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, MARCH 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
The long road from happy engagement to wedded bliss is paved with potential etiquette faux pas. Wedding planner Lisa Hanslip is here to help you resist your inner Bridezilla along the way.
Q: I’m having a very hard time choosing a maid of honour. I have a few girlfriends that I’m fairly close to, but my very best friend is a guy. We’ve known each other since junior high - and he’s seen me through everything. Would it be weird to choose him instead of a maid of honour? Should he just dress like the groomsmen? Will I give my grandmother a heart attack?
A: Unconventional, yes! Unexpected, you bet! Acceptable, absolutely!
You want your honour attendant - whether it is a maid of honour, matron of honour or man of honour - to be the person to whom you feel closest. You should choose your best friend, the person you want standing beside you on your big day - not the friend that would look best in the bridesmaid dress.
If you choose a man to be your honour attendant - you may opt to eliminate some of the “typical” duties like hosting your bridal shower, or helping you get into your wedding gown. But the most important part of the job description is being supportive and serving as the legal witness to your marriage.
Choosing your attendants can often be a difficult process - for the bride and the groom. There may be family politics involved. Or, like some, you may have served as a bridesmaid for a dozen of your friends and family members and feel obligated to ask them to stand up for you in return. Well…don’t.
This is your day - and although it is impossible to accommodate everyone’s wishes - you can’t make your choices based on not wanting to offend someone. You can’t make everyone happy - nor can you make everyone your bridesmaid - so just choose those you are currently closest to. You can always assign tasks - like doing a reading or taking care of the guest book - to those you want to feel special and included in your wedding but aren’t in the bridal party.
When you decide on the attire for your attendants, he can wear a suit or tuxedo and coordinate his tie to the other bridesmaids. This scenario also holds true for the groom. It is also perfectly acceptable to have a woman be the best “man.” A best “woman” looks great in a black strapless gown to coordinate with the other groomsmen.
So, feel free to choose your best guy friend or brother to stand up for you at your wedding. Just keep your “man of honour” away from the lavender chiffon and size 11 purple pumps - and your grandmother’s heart should be just fine!
{ fabulous spring fête }
Friday, April 20th, 2012 | media, weddings | No Comments
This is a lovely wedding we did a while ago, but in honour of the lovely spring day today I thought we could use a touch of the soft pinks and ivories that embued this lovely spring wedding in the mountains.
We were excited to see that one of our weddings was featured in the western Canada edition of WedLuxe Magazine. It was a beautiful wedding in Banff…with an equally beautiful bride & groom.
There were SO many details to look after with this wedding - every detail from the invitations to the bride & groom’s exit was carefully orchestrated. Their monogram appeared on EVERYTHING…invitations, aisle runner, silk panels in the church, programs, menus, table numbers, signage, gobo projected onto the dance floor, favor cards, tags on the late night snack, and even the matchbooks to light the sparklers for their exit.
{ receiving line…yay or nay? }
Saturday, March 10th, 2012 | Q&A, etiquette, media | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, APRIL 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
The long road from happy engagement to wedded bliss is paved with potential etiquette faux pas. Wedding planner Lisa Hanslip is here to help you resist your inner Bridezilla along the way.
Q: We’ve been told we need to have a receiving line at our wedding - but we don’t really know when it is supposed to be or even who exactly is supposed to be included - do we really need to have one?
A: Traditionally, it is considered proper etiquette to have a receiving line at any wedding with more than 50 guests. The purpose of the receiving line is to give the hosts and the happy couple an opportunity to personally greet each guest.
The receiving line usually starts with the parents of the bride, followed by the groom, the bride, the parents of the groom, and sometimes the maid of honour. The groomsmen do not participate in the receiving line nor do the bridesmaids (hmmm…eight attendants and 250 wedding guests…we might get to sit down for dinner sometime before their first anniversary).
Today, it is perfectly acceptable not to have a receiving line. If you’re planning to invite enough people to fill all four halls of the Round-Up Centre - it is probably best to skip it. But, if you’ve invited less than 200 people, it can certainly be manageable - and useful: If even your best party-mingling efforts don’t allow you to visit with each guest during the reception - you can relax knowing you spoke with everyone during the receiving line.
The receiving line can be held at the church as people exit or at the reception as people enter. It can be a great way to usher people out of the ceremony or into the reception - but allow enough time so you’re not impinging on your time for wedding photos or the start of dinner. The receiving line can be rather a lengthy process - so count on at least half an hour to greet all of your guests - closer to an hour if you have lots of chatty relatives to contend with.
Just remember - whether or not you have a receiving line - the important thing is that you greet each and every guest and thank them personally for sharing in your big day. If you decide to go for it - make sure your comfy shoes and bottle of Purell are at the ready - and you’ll be all set.
Lisa Hanslip is a Calgary wedding planner (www. askaweddingplanner.com). Her advice appears regularly on the Love Stories pages.
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