Monday, December 16th, 2013 | trends | No Comments
wishing everyone much health + happiness + all good things for 2014!
Wednesday, July 17th, 2013 | media, trends | No Comments
We are frequently interviewed about all things wedding…here’s one from the perspective of the wedding guest:
No, I don’t want to go to your expensive wedding
by Melissa Leong | Financial Post | May 7, 2013
When a beautiful wedding invitation arrives in our mailbox, imagine if we could RSVP in the most honest way.
“Dear friend, Thank you so much for wanting me to be a part of your incredible celebration. But I am spending a month’s rent on gifts, a bridesmaid dress and the bachelorette party in Vegas. If you have a third bridal shower, I am going to lose it.”
“Dear cousin, I know you’re getting married at the swankiest venue in the city. But my date and I will not cover our heads at $350 a pop. Please don’t badmouth us to the rest of the family.”
“Dear work colleague, No way. In debt from the last wedding that I attended. But congrats.”
How to survive the wedding season
Attending weddings can be expensive. So here are some tips to help you emerge from the tulle-draped, flower-petal littered and champagne filled celebrations with more of your money in the bank.
Read more here
We know weddings are expensive. Weddingbells Magazine’s annual survey recently revealed that couples spend an average of $32,358 to get married and go on a honeymoon. But lovebirds aside, it can be expensive for everyone else too. According to new research by American Express, people expect to fork out $539 per wedding this year, including $167 on travel and $108 on gifts. (Close family members spend an average of $179 on gifts and co-workers cough up $66.)
Also, more couples are opting for destination events which raises costs for traveling guests; 24% of all American weddings in 2012 were abroad, up 20% since 2008, says TheKnot.
Statistics Canada’s 2008 data shows that men get married at an average age of 31.1 and women get hitched at 29.1. So for recent graduates with student loans and for people with new careers trying to build wealth, a flurry of weddings invitations couldn’t come at a worse time.
In the past 10 years, Mira M. has attended about 20 weddings and says she’s easily spent $10,000. Last year, the 29-year-old Toronto resident went to six weddings. One bride had two engagement parties, three showers, an out-of-town stagette and an in-town stagette. And the wedding invitation read: “Monetary gifts appreciated.”
“I gave a gift at every single event,” she says. “You start to feel the pressure because the bride starts talking to you about who gave gifts and ‘How much do you think a party like this costs?’”
So how much are you supposed to give?
Well, you don’t have to give anything if you don’t want to.
Big wedding gift, big mistake
These emotional highs can sometimes lead to brash decisions — such as the decision to unconditionally give your newlywed children extraordinary wedding gifts.
Read more here
“From an etiquette perspective, the most common misconception that I hear is that you’re supposed to spend how much you think they’re spending on your dinner. That’s not the case. [The] wedding is not supposed to be a money-making or break even proposition,” says Lisa Hanslip, owner and senior event designer at The Wedding Planner Inc. She used to write an etiquette column for the Calgary Herald. “You need to take into account how well do you know this person and what your particular circumstances are.”
She has planned several weddings in the last few years where the couple either didn’t want gifts or asked for charitable donations.
“You shouldn’t feel obligated to buy something off the registry. The registry is supposed to make it easier for you, in case you don’t know them that well or you don’t know what they need,” she says. “I’ve had clients complaining about friends’ registries where the cheapest thing is one silver teaspoon that’s $100 and you feel so stupid buying one spoon.”
Buying a silver spoon is the least of our problems if we get the call to join the ranks of the wedding party. (It’s like having the honour of being knighted, except the sword cuts your purse strings.) According to the wedding site TheKnot.com, the average bridesmaid could face a bill for $1,385 when adding all potential costs.
Julianne Taskey, a 31-year-old Toronto resident who works in fundraising has been in six wedding parties; she spends about $1,000 to fulfill her bridal party duties.
“I’m a spender. It’s someone’s special day so how do you put a price tag on it. How do you say, ‘No?’” she says.
Take just one of her events. The cost included more than $400 for a bridesmaid dress, $150 for hair and make-up, $80 for shoes, $50 for a pedicure and manicure. Add to that $150-$300 for a wedding gift, $50 to $100 for shower gifts and $500 for the bachelorette party. “The rooms, the cabs, the drinks, strippers, the bridesmaids tank tops. I probably have four [tank tops],” she says.
Going to people’s weddings could deepen your relationship
Debauchery isn’t cheap. At bachelor parties, Armando Guedez’s friends call him “the banker.” That’s because the 31-year-old Toronto resident doesn’t drink much.
“They’ll give me the money and my job is to make sure they don’t make stupid decisions with their money,” he says.
He’s been invited to about five weddings in the last few years and the bachelor parties are the costliest part. “I usually budget $500. Drinks could be $150 to $200. The hotel and gas is shared so $50 to $100. Food might be $100. The rest goes to the ladies.”
The price of these man-parties and the $150 gift that Mr. Guedez gives at weddings is worth it, he adds. “Going to people’s weddings could deepen your relationships.”
Michael O’Farrell, a 31-year-old entrepreneur who lives in Gatineau, Que., flew to Las Vegas for his cousin’s bachelor party.
“Without the flight, it was close to $1,000 to $1,500 for three nights,” he says. “You’re a bunch of guys. They say, ‘Why don’t we spend $1,000 on drinks and bottle service?’ Everyone chips in. There’s definitely peer pressure and the guilt trip. In some cases … no one wants to take charge and if you do decide to, you’re loading up your credit card.”
He will also buy a new suit to wear to weddings. Blame Facebook for being a catalogue of our formal wear for everyone to see. (To deal with this, Mira once rented a $2,000 gown for $150 from Toronto company, Rent frock Repeat, to wear to a black-tie wedding.)
I’ve been invited to a Jack and Jill where I wasn’t invited to the wedding. It’s so tacky
You cannot put a dollar amount to attending a wedding, Mr. O’Farrell says. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event for the bride and groom. Getting an invitation is a sign that you’re important in their lives. It’s important for you to be there and you want to share that moment with them … If you get invited, it’s not proper to say ‘No.’”
I’ve said “no,” and not sent a gift (which according to my mom, is the rudest thing in the world). I’ve said “no” to being in someone’s wedding party. I also don’t go to what Winnipeggers call “socials” or Jack and Jill parties where guests pay a cover and buy raffle tickets to help raise money for someone else’s wedding.
“I’ve been invited to a Jack and Jill where I wasn’t invited to the wedding. It’s so tacky,” says Kirsten Ellison, a 28-year-old student at the University of Calgary.
She has three weddings to attend this summer in Ontario and one bachelorette in Las Vegas. She’s been saving and spreading out the costs for the flights, for the “spa-rty” (spa party) ahead of one wedding and the hotels.
“I know of people who’ve taken a second mortgage on their house to have a wedding. It was an extravagant thing and all of the bridesmaids were swept up as well,” she says. “It’s important for the couple to have those who are close to them, family and friends, to be there and be supportive. At the same time, it has spun out of control and gone beyond the celebration of two people getting together.”
Tuesday, October 30th, 2012 | media, trends | No Comments
Thanks to our friends at thenest.com for this fun article:
Walking down the aisle together
Hometown: Jacksonville, FL
Married: October 20, 2007
It was their best friend’s wedding in 2003: Sara was a bridesmaid and Patrick was a groomsman. “We were introduced during the rehearsal, and we walked down the aisle together,” says Sara. “At the rehearsal dinner, Sara’s table was by the buffet, and I got up to refill my plate six times as an excuse to talk to her,” admits Patrick. Adds Sara, “We dated long distance for six months; then I moved to Jacksonville. Eventually we talked down the aisle again- but this time it was for real!”
In a virtual world
Hometown: Seacaucus, NJ
Married: April 25, 2008
The couple first met at Tiki Cove Plaza- but wait a sec, it’s not an actual plaza. It exists in a virtual world called There.com, and their two animated avatars started “hanging out.” After a year of virtual dating, they decided to try it for real. “We were both nervous,” says Megan. “But we really hit it off!” They dated in real life for another year before deciding to get hitched. Their wedding was in New Jersey, and a virtual one (yep, they exist!) was on There.com for online friends.
In front of a mailbox
Hometown: Atlanta, GA
Married: August 12th, 2006
When Cedric moved into Maria’s building, her pal (who happened to be the building manager) told her they had to meet. “I stalked the common areas and saw him at the mailboxes on day,” says Maria. “I helped her carry her bags onto the elevator, and when she got off, I said, ‘If you ever need anything, I’m in 3104,’” Cedric remembers. Later that night, she knocked on his door and asked him out. “A year later, I proposed… by the mailboxes, of course,” says Cedric.
In the waiting room of a Dr.’s office
Hometown: Austin, TX
Married: September 13th, 2008
Jen had pulled a muscle in her back, and Mike had an earache. They both ended up in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, and Mike struck up a conversation with Jen. “I never, ever imagined I’d meet my future husband in a waiting room, much less while I was barely able to walk due to major back pain, but I guess it happens when it happens,” says Jen. “This all went down before the movie Garden State came out,” says Mike. “We think they stole our story for that movie.”
At an Arizona Cardinals game
Hometown: Phoenix, AZ
Married: January 24th, 2009
“I bought season tickets to the Cardinals and went to every game,” says Charlotte. “But I didn’t notice this handsome, sweet, smart man sitting next to me every weekend.” During a particular lackluster game, the two started talking. “I had convinced this kid in front of us to give Charlotte some of his cotton candy. I knew that sealed the deal,” laughs John. “At the last game, she gave me her business card. I emailed her right after the game and asked her out.”
At nursery school
Hometown: San Francisco, CA
Married: July 11, 2003
“Alex and his friends were playing Star Wars at nursery school,” recalls Emma. “He was Luke and let me be Leia.” The two stayed friends all though college, where they were roommates. “After grad school, we moved to NYC and rented a one-bedroom apartment, and fate said enough was enough,” says Emma. “We became a couple, to the amusement of our friends, and got married. It’s funny…. We’ve known each other longer than our younger siblings!”
– Melissa Walker
Friday, October 19th, 2012 | Q&A | No Comments
Tips on Breaking in your Wedding Heels
From our friends at Weddingful.com:
The heels have been chosen and they’re gorgeous! Now the question is, how do you break in these babies so you can enjoy your wedding day.
Tip #1: Wear them in: We know you don’t want to scuff your beautiful shoes, but they must be worn in. Wear them at the office (at your desk of course) or wear them around the house. Pop them on for half an hour to an hour a day.
Tip #2: Bend & stretch: We saw this tip on Lauren Conrad’s website The Beauty Department. Stretch and bend the heels upward and downwards (if the shoe permits) a few times. Use a hair dryer and heat the heesl for 2 to 3 minutes and repeat.
Tip #3: Buy the right size: This might sound silly, but lots of women will buy the wrong size of shoe, perhaps it was the last pair on sale or you just couldn’t hunt down your size. We recommend you buy a perfect fitting shoe. If a shoe is too big, you risk tripping and if it’s too small, we guarantee blisters will form.
Tip #4: Sandpaper the sole: If you find the heel slippery, take a piece of sandpaper and rub against the sole.
Tip #5: Have a backup plan: Let’s not lie to ourselves, even if your heels are super comfortable, you will likely be tired by end of day. So pick a pair of pretty crochet TOMS, sparkly flip flops or satin ballet flats for a quick change. These are perfect to switch in throughout the day.
Friday, October 5th, 2012 | etiquette | No Comments
Thank you to Peter Post for these great tips for the perfect proposal!
Countdown to Proposing
Peter Post’s 10 Day Proposing Plan
From the ring and flowers to what to wear and how to ask, Peter gives men the advice they need to get through the big moment.
Day 10: Make a Plan
Decide on the who, what, when, where and why of how you will ask her to marry you. A public place or a private setting? First thing in the morning or late at night? Think about what suits your personalities and relationship. Keep in mind, this is a story she will be telling for the rest of her life and you want her to be proud to tell it. But at the same time, the more complex a plan you concoct, the more difficult to pull off.
Day 9: The Ring
You’ve got two options here: pick the ring you know she’ll love or go with something basic and let her choose the setting and band once she’s said yes. If you go with the latter, remember that this is not an insult to your jewelry selection capabilities. You want to make sure it’s the ring she wants.
Day 8: To Ask or Not to Ask – Permission from Her Dad
Individual circumstances determine whether you should ask permission from her father, either alone or with your intended, or if you should simply announce your plans together. Be respectful of the culture and traditions of your future wife’s family. This will help you decide the most appropriate course of action.
Day 7: Schedule Her In
Don’t forget to make plans with her for the big day. It would be pretty embarrassing to go through all this effort and then have her tell you “I’m not available that night, I have yoga class till 8:30 p.m.”
Day 6: Dress
Figure out what you’re going to wear. Make sure it’s clean and pressed. Shoes polished. Hole-free socks. Get a haircut. Shave. You want to look and feel your best.
Day 5: Flowers
There’s only one choice: red roses. Lots and lots of red roses. And remember, even if you think flowers don’t matter, they do.
Day 4: Food
To cook or go out? Don’t cook. Think about it. You want to focus on her, not on cooking. Make a reservation at the nicest restaurant you can afford. Try not to be a nervous wreck, hopefully you’ll enjoy the meal. If you’re planning to pop the question there, ask the maitre d’ for a quiet table.
Day 3: Wine
This is clearly a champagne occasion. Pop the question early and then order a bottle to celebrate. You can even call ahead and arrange to have the sommelier bring the champagne out once you’ve proposed.
Day 2: Practice
Think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Decide if you’re a down-on-one-knee kind of guy. Visualize what’s going to happen. You’ve established a plan for the dinner, now think about how you’re going to actually pull this off. Make sure you know how to get to where you are going. Remember these could be some of the most important words she hears from you, so make them memorable.
Day 1: Just Do It!
Give yourself time to get ready. Don’t forget the ring. Do plan on having a night the two of you will always remember. Look her in the eye and speak from the heart. Enjoy the moment!
Friday, September 28th, 2012 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, OCTOBER 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
Q. My husband and I just got married and we had a really lovely wedding, except there’s one thing that is really bugging me. We had both decided not to have any children at our wedding, both because of the type of wedding we wanted and because we had such a small wedding, our guest list was very limited. Friends of my husband asked him about our opinion of kids at the wedding and he told them that a good gift to us would be a baby sitter as we were not having any kids at either the ceremony or reception. The first thing I saw, and heard, as I entered the church to walk down the aisle was this couple with their children, including their newborn. Am I off base or was this totally out of line?
A. I have three words for you: tacky, tacky, and tacky! Not only were his friends rude and inconsiderate, but they can’t even claim ignorance as you had a specific conversation about your decision to have a child-free wedding.
Regardless whether you are having a small or large wedding it is completely appropriate to choose not to have children at your wedding celebration. The day should reflect you as a couple, and if there are no children you are close to, or if you wish to have a “grown-up” event, there is absolutely no reason you should feel obligated to include any children on your invite list.
The best way to handle this is to be consistent: if you don’t want lots of children, don’t invite any – however, it is also ok to only invite children over a certain age. Some couples want only certain kids, for example their nieces and nephews, but no others. This choice isn’t particularly appropriate etiquette, so you need to be prepared for a little backlash.
To all prospective wedding guests out there – it has been said before, but apparently it bears repeating: IF YOUR NAME IS NOT ON THE INVITATION – YOU ARE NOT INVITED!! This includes your children, the guy you started dating last Tuesday and that unexpected house guest you need to keep entertained.
You are completely correct to be ticked off at your husband’s friends – they were totally out-of-line. As to how you should handle it now – well, that’s entirely up to you – but you should probably set a couple extra places at the table the next time you invite them over for dinner, just in case…
P.S. If it is too problematic to “not” invite the children – consider setting up a kid’s room – hire a team of babysitters and stock it full of kid-friendly fun – they’ll be nearby so their parents can check on them – you’ll get the child-free wedding you desire and you don’t have to have that sometimes uncomfortable conversation with your guests.
Friday, September 21st, 2012 | media, Q&A, testimonials | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, JUNE 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
image credit: Alex Eben Meyer (http://www.eben.com)
Q. My best friend is getting married in a few months and I am so happy for her, but in the six months since she got engaged she’s changed into a totally different person. She never wants to discuss anything but the wedding and she’s obsessing about every single detail. Since I announced I’m pregnant she no longer wants me to be her bridesmaid because I won’t look good in the wedding photos. She’s gone completely crazy, is there anything I can do to snap her out of it?
A. Alas, I fear Bridezilla has reared her ugly head:
bridezilla (brId-ZILL-uh) n. A bride-to-be who, while planning her wedding, becomes exceptionally selfish, greedy, and obnoxious.
Bridezillas are a new breed of brides who abuse the idea that weddings are their day to get exactly what they want. They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette. Their sole desire is to be the single most important person on the planet from the time of engagement right up until the last dance at their wedding.
Here are some tell-tale signs that someone you love might be turning into a Bridezilla:
-The bride is incapable of discussing any subject other than her wedding.
-The bride barely eats so she can fit into her dress and then complains that she’s hungry all the time.
-The bride obsessively watches what her bridal party is eating and gasps every time anyone reaches for a cookie.
-The mother-of-the-bride and the maid-of-honour are beginning to feel like medieval footservants.
-The bride chooses couture bridesmaid dresses, even though most of her friends are on a budget. She does not, however, offer to pay.
-When the bride is discussing all the details of her wedding (which she does to every person who crosses her path) you can’t help but picture more “Bride of Frankenstein” than “Princess Bride.”
-The bride is thrilled when her groom is sent away on business (“Finally, he’ll stop interfering in all of my plans…”).
Your friend may have been the sweetest girl you knew before she got engaged, but once a bride falls to the dark side, there’s very little you can do but grin and breathe deeply (slipping the bride a valium couldn’t hurt either). So, take a deep breath and count the days until your friend returns to her normal self. In the meantime…be afraid, be very afraid.
Friday, August 24th, 2012 | trends | No Comments
We don’t often, or perhaps ever, blog about specific products, but we just saw these same-sex wedding invitations from Alfie Cooper and we thought they were so FANTABULOUS we had to share…
How cute are these:
Love the “Haberdashery” pocket invites:
The “Big Gay Wedding” slider invites are so cute…love them:
Friday, August 17th, 2012 | media, testimonials, trends | No Comments
We just stumbled across some new photos of this lovely wedding we did last year – just in time to wish Jani + Colin a very happy 1st anniversary. Below are some of the “new” photos (taken by the very talented Kristi Sneddon).
photo credit: Kristi Sneddon
Taking inspiration from favourite old movies and their love for writing (Jani is a writer and Colin a PhD in English), the couple began to dream of a shabby chic wedding style incorporating their love for the written word. A colour palette of teal and charcoal with pops of pink, red, and yellow set the tone they were looking for, but after finding out that the venue they booked had been turned into a rave club, they had to start fresh. A hotel was chosen for both the ceremony and reception, where they were wed in a beautiful poolside ceremony. A navy aisle runner with a sparkly teal monogram lined by votives in mason jars lead the way to the altar. Both the bride and groom had composed a short piece about their love for each other to incorporate into their vows: “Colin’s note was beautiful—complete poetry. That moment, and the rush of joy walking back down the aisle as a married couple are my favourite memories. There was so much love it was palpable!” says the bride.
When it came to planning the reception…things started with the decision to incorporate their personal collection of antique typewriters and as much text as possible. So, the typewriters replaced the traditional guestbook, guests typed notes to the happy couple before finding their seat. A stack of old books was placed on each table, topping a pewter pintuck linen with teal runner. On top of each stack of books was either a vintage-looking candelabra or small arrangement of flowers, with small posies and votives scattered throughout the tables. Custom table numbers were displayed with small vintage typewriters, and a custom seating chart and matching menus finished the look. Pink and yellow paper lanterns added a fun vibe to the space, while the photographer set up a photo booth that kept the guests busy and lined up all night long. The five-tiered cake was decorated to suit the couple’s fashion, featuring lines of poetry iced onto the cake and topped with a feather pen.
It was very quirky & unique while still being elegant & inviting. Every element had lots of character…just like the bride & groom!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY xo
Tuesday, August 14th, 2012 | Q&A | No Comments
Here are some helpful tips from our friends at OneWed by Kara Horner of TheManRegistry.com
photo credit: Mastin Studio
Not sure about the groom’s duties when it comes to the wedding plans? While there are no hard and fast rules these days—especially with couples (instead of parents) personally footing more of the bill than ever before—here’s a quick list of the duties the groom typically handles:
• Marriage license
• Officiant’s fee
• Writing vows (if applicable)
• The bride’s wedding band
• The bride’s bouquet
• The bride’s gift
• The groom’s wedding day attire
• Gifts for the groomsmen, ushers and ring bearers
• Wedding day transportation
• The rehearsal dinner
• The honeymoon
Of course, couples may choose to divvy up the wedding duties however they see fit, so guys, make sure to create a game plan up front with your fiancée to manage expectations, decide who will cover each detail, and ensure that your plans remain within budget.
- December 2013
- July 2013
- March 2013
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- November 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008