calgary weddings
Peggy Post’s Top Ten Honeymoon Tips (6-10)
Friday, January 27th, 2012 | etiquette, travel | No Comments
Here are the remaining tips for honeymoon planning. I wouldn’t have paid much attention to the ones about having someone look after pets, etc. at the time we got married…I’m glad we didn’t have our pug Lulu then as I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed being away for almost a month…and it would’ve been a huge shame to have missed out on our 3.5 weeks in Italy…they were perfect and glorious! The other destination that was in the running was Bora Bora…those glorious over water huts…
6. Take care of the caretakers. As a matter of security as well as courtesy and common sense, leave a written schedule of your trip, including telephone numbers, with the people who maintain your home, take care of pets, water plants, or pick up mail. The same, of course, applies if you have children and you’re leaving them with a relative or other caregiver. Be sure to give your parents or other close relatives copies of your schedule, as well. Take with you on your honeymoon the phone numbers of any caretakers. Leave written instructions for feeding pets, giving medications, or watering plants. Be sure to stock up on food and the like so that caretakers are not obligated to spend money on supplies. Don’t forget to write thank-you notes and perhaps even purchase small gifts for those people who took care of things while you were away.
7. Don’t neglect post-wedding tasks. Take care of post wedding loose ends so that they don’t burden anyone else while you are away on your honeymoon. It’s fine to delegate tasks to others; just make the arrangements ahead of time. These jobs could include dealing with rental returns, keeping an eye out for wedding gift deliveries, mailing your wedding announcements, and delivering your wedding gown to storage.
8. Plan for wedding announcements. If you’re sending wedding announcements, it’s a good idea to have them addressed and stamped before the wedding, either by you or someone helping you. Ideally, they should go into the mail soon after your wedding day. Traditionally announcements are mailed the day after the wedding, but that’s no longer necessary. Mailing announcements anytime a few days- or even weeks- after your big day is fine. Ask a friend or relative to mail your announcements if you would like them sent during the time you’re away on your honeymoon.
9. Set aside time to talk. It’s easy for couples who are swept up in countless pre-wedding details and duties to become somewhat myopic about preparing for life after the wedding. Make sure to set aside time during the honeymoon to discuss ways to make the transition to married life go smoothly. For example, the realities of keeping a household budget and dividing household chores are something you’ll need to discuss. Talk about how you plan to communicate in general, making sure you are both committed to open communication. It helps enormously to commit from the start to a certain flexibility and willingness to compromise- and to stick to it. It’s a lifelong pledge.
10. Pamper, indulge, relax! This should be a once-in-a-lifetime event for the two of you. So don’t be afraid to splurge on a few extras. It could be his and hers massages at the hotel spa – or supplies for giving each other spa treatments in the privacy of your own room. Other possibilities: a sunset sail if you’re near a beach, or an extravagant meal of lobster tails and filet mignon. Whatever the indulgence – enjoy! This is a special time.
“Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette” (fifth edition), 2006, p.379
Peggy Post’s Top Ten Honeymoon Tips (1-5)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012 | etiquette, travel | No Comments
I know that when my husband & I got married I was way more excited about the honeymoon than the wedding. I’m not sure if that is a professional hazard of being a wedding planner or not…so many wedding planners come to the business after they plan their own wedding and I had been planning weddings for 12 or 13 years before I got married…so perhaps the wedding felt like old hat to me…I’m not sure…but I know that I was SO excited about the honeymoon…that was the part that was just about the two of us…and the 3.5 weeks in Italy were absolute PERFECTION!!
This was the view off of our terrace above Positano…sigh…why do I torment myself looking at this photo in the middle of winter?!?
Thank you to Peggy Post for these great honeymoon tips:
The honeymoon is the romantic interlude bridging your past and future lives. It’s the time to revel in your nuptial bliss and recuperate from the hectic planning and activities of the weeks and months before the
wedding – and from the big day itself. Here are some tips to help make the honeymoon live up to the romantic myth – and create an experience that you’ll both look back on fondly for years to come.
1. Tap into the tradition. In the Middle Ages, mead, a fermented drink made with honey (the symbol of fertility, health, and life), was drunk by the bride and groom for thirty days – the cycle of the
moon. During this period, the couple stayed hidden from their parents and friends, the mead no doubt loosening their inhibitions and getting the marriage off to an auspicious start. Even if you have been together for quite some time, you can enrich your getaway by tapping into the traditional spirit of the honeymoon as a period of treasured communion between the couple – a time like no other.
Note: You certainly do not need to drink mead, or other alcoholic beverages!
2. Plan together. Both of you should be involved in planning the honeymoon. That includes doing the research, meeting with a travel agent, and making reservations. Discuss what type of honeymoon
experience you want. A lazy beach retreat? A tour of a European country? A week of sky and scuba diving? Make sure you are in agreement. If you dream of biking in Italy, but he’s visualizing cocktails by the pool, aim for something in the middle.
3. Plan ahead. The honeymoon, for many couples, is a top-priority decision – with good reason! Some couples make all of their other wedding decisions around their honeymoon plans. Make the preliminary decisions as early as possible, such as the honeymoon date, location, transportation, accommodations, and length of stay.
4. Set a honeymoon budget. Honeymoons need to be planned in advance for budgetary reasons as well. It is all too easy to get caught up in the frenzy of planning the wedding and reception, only to find you don’t have the funds you need for the honeymoon you dreamed of. So don’t forget to add up all of the expected
(and unexpected) costs of the honeymoon. Beyond transportation and lodging, the honeymoon budget should also include meals, transfers, souvenirs, sightseeing and sports-related costs, tips, taxes, and the little luxuries, like a massage or poolside charges for lounge chairs and towels.
5. If you have children, plan for them and your honeymoon. Many couples marrying for the second time bring children into the marriage. Remarriage can be unsettling for kids, especially for young children who are dependent on their parent. They may feel that they are being abandoned or will become less important in your
life. If your kids feel threatened by your marriage, you may rightly be concerned about leaving them immediately after the wedding to go on a honeymoon. This is a clear conflict, as you and your new spouse may be eager – and certainly deserve – to share some private time together.
Some couples decide to take their kids on the honeymoon with them, making the trip a family vacation. This is fine – as long as you and your mate are enthusiastic and in complete agreement about this. Others find ways to divide their honeymoon, with the first part a time for the two of them alone and the second part a trip as a new family. This gives your children something to look forward to during the few days you are away from them.
Or you could plan a special kids’ party after you get home from the honeymoon. If you do decide to take a honeymoon away from your kids, think of ways to remember them while you are gone. Call often and send plenty of postcards or e-mails. You can even make videotapes or audiotapes to mail overnight to your children, describing your vacation spot and sending your love.
“Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette” (fifth edition), 2006, p.378
Anniversary Ideas
Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 | etiquette | No Comments
Got a wedding anniversary coming up? Here are the traditional gift ideas for each anniversary.
•First anniversary: Paper
•Second anniversary: Cotton
•Third anniversary: Leather
•Fourth anniversary: Fruit and Flowers
•Fifth anniversary: Wood
•Sixth anniversary: Candy
•Seventh anniversary: Copper
•Eighth anniversary: Bronze
•Ninth anniversary: Willow and Pottery
•Tenth anniversary: Tin
•Eleventh anniversary: Steel
7 Relationship Mistakes Even the Smartest Couples Make
Wednesday, September 28th, 2011 | Q&A, Uncategorized | No Comments
I always believe it is important to discuss things with your future spouse before they become an issue…less chance for a heated argument - and more opportunity to discover where you’re both coming from. My husband & I sometimes teach marriage prep classes so I’m a big believer in discuss, discuss, discuss….but just in case you haven’t discussed…here are some helpful tips from our friends at thenest.com:
Mistake #1: Not Dealing With Debt
Newsflash: Money is the #1 thing couples fight about. Fess up about your personal debt — because for better or worse — and then set up a financial game plan.
Mistake #2: Alienating Your Friends
Friends are key for a successful marriage, so tag along on those girls’ nights out. Just because you’re not guy-hunting doesn’t mean you can’t be a supportive wingwoman.
Mistake #3: Not Having Enough Sex
Over 60 percent of newlyweds we surveyed were already in a sex rut! Yeah, you’re busy, but that’s not a good enough excuse not to get busy. Initiate sex, even if you don’t feel like it or have to schedule it. If you get in the habit of having it, you’ll start wanting it (and liking it) more.
Mistake #4: Letting Yourself Go
So you put on the “newlywed nine.” Big whoop…you’ve already found your mate, right? Wrong! Make a plan to get fit together or at least respect each other’s goals.
Mistake #5: Outlawing the In-Laws
Fifty percent of couples we surveyed have a problematic relationship with their in-laws (ya think?). Manage expectations, like saying you’ll call on Sundays so his mom doesn’t guilt-trip you for ignoring her weekday messages. Even if your spouse is bitching about his family, resist the urge to chime in. It’ll bite you in the butt later.
Mistake #6: Crazy Fighting
Getting hitched isn’t a free pass to hit below the belt (sorry!). When you’re getting really heated, walk away to cool down for a few minutes.
Mistake #7: Becoming Baby-Obsessed
It’s easy to fixate on that next big step, but chill out — the average couple has a kid within three years of marriage. So really, why rush? Savor the moments (and vacations you can take!) now…when you won’t have to be waking up for a brutal 4 a.m. feeding.
{ jani + colin }
Friday, September 9th, 2011 | testimonials | No Comments
Earlier this week I received one of the most lovely & thoughtful thank you messages…they’re writers so I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything less. I loved working with you both…all good things! xo
Hi Lisa,
{ when wordsmiths wed }
Saturday, September 3rd, 2011 | trends, weddings | No Comments
We had a lovely wedding two weeks ago. It was very quirky & unique while still being elegant & inviting. Every element had lots of character…just like the bride & groom!
The linens were pewter pintuck with accents in 2 shades of teal. As both of them are writers and surround themselves with writers and poets I decided each table should be adorned with a stack of old books.
There were candelabras surrounded by small floral posies in mason jars, and large posies in mason jars surrounded by votives in small mason jars.
Both the cocktail area and the dance floor were adorned with dozens of paper lanterns in hot pink, red & yellow, and all the uplighting in the room was hot pink & red.
The tables were named for their favorite writers.
Their guests were treated to a sumptuous dinner…
and a very literate wedding cake!
One of my favorite parts was the use of their collection of vintage typewriters.
The typewriters were used instead of a guest book. It was a huge hit and I’m sure they will have lots of interesting prose…especially as the evening progressed!
Best wishes! xo
{ jen + colum }
Wednesday, August 31st, 2011 | testimonials | No Comments
We received this lovely thank you note from Jennifer + Colum today.
“Dear Lisa,
Colum & I can’t thank you enough for your guidance + patience throughout the entire planning process.
Very Best,
Jen & Colum”
You’re so welcome! It was such a pleasure working with you…all the best! xoLisa.
{ ask the expert }
Thursday, August 4th, 2011 | Q&A, etiquette, media | No Comments
Originally published in Weddings in Alberta Magazine, August 2011.
We have a lot of guests traveling from out of town for our wedding. What are we expected to pay for? How involved should we be in the planning of their stay?
Some couples make the decision to factor their out-of-town guests’ hotel rooms into their budget (or all of their guests’ rooms if they’ve chosen an out-of-town venue), but for the vast majority of couples, this is not common. You should absolutely arrange for a block of rooms with a good room rate at one or more hotels, but you are not obligated to pay for their rooms.
You should also put some time and effort into making your out-of-town guests feel welcome: provide a list of suggested of activities in town, perhaps a welcome bag for their hotel rooms (even something as simple as a bottle of water, snacks and a little note is always very much appreciated), and if possible, invite your out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner and/or the day-after brunch.
We are not having a wedding party for our very intimate day. What should we do with the rings and who should hold my bouquet during the ceremony?
Intimate weddings are just lovely—there’s no need to worry about not having a wedding party. Your officiant can take your bouquet from you at the appropriate moment and set it down on the altar or signing table and you can retrieve it after you’ve done the signing so you’ll have it for your recessional back down the aisle. As for the rings, you have a couple of choices: either give them to the officiant before the ceremony or your fiancé can put them both in his pocket and hand them to the officiant during the ceremony.
We’ve had a major misunderstanding with our caterer, and now they are no longer in our budget. What do we do?
First, check your contract to see if your deposit is refundable or if it is even possible to cancel your contract (this usually depends on the amount of time until your date: is your wedding still a year away or is it next weekend? Typically the nearer your date, the less flexibility you’re going to have in the contract). If there’s no time to find another caterer or if you’re locked into your contract (or you can’t afford to give up your deposit), you’ll need to take a deep breath and adjust the vision for your reception.
Perhaps you can eliminate a course (or two) to get the costs back in your budget range. If it really was a major misunderstanding and it is not feasible to hire another caterer to take over, you might need to go so far as changing your reception from a sit-down dinner to a cocktail reception. If you do change from a sit-down to a cocktail reception, make sure to alter the start time of your reception so your guests won’t be expecting a full meal.
If you are able to get your deposit back and get out of your contract with your caterer, find your way to a more affordable caterer (ask your other vendors and talk to other brides for recommendations), but make sure to do a tasting and be very clear about your expectations and compare it to what they’re able to deliver before you commit to anything.
If none of these options is viable, you really only have one other alternative (if your invitations haven’t gone out yet): you’ll have to cut your guest list to a number that will make your caterer fit in your budget. This can be difficult and fraught with familial discord, but you need to pick an option that won’t break the budget while still allowing you to enjoy your big day. Whatever you decide…good luck and bon appetit!
We’re not sure if we want to do a cake cutting and all that goes with it. Why do couples cut the cake and feed it to each other?
The wedding cake dates back to Roman times when the cake was actually part of the ceremony. The customs and symbolism surrounding the wedding cake have morphed—sometimes rather unpleasantly (breaking the cake over the brides head anyone?)—over the years, but now the cutting of the cake symbolizes the first task the bride and groom complete as a married couple.
Many couples include the cake cutting purely for the photo op and the enjoyment of their guests. It’s always a favorite moment for guests to take a pic of the happy couple. Feel free to skip the “feed it to each other” part unless you have a burning desire to do so. Have your photographer or planner tell you the best angle for your photo op: both of you hold the handle of the knife and make a cut in the bottom or middle layer. When you’ve completed the cut, keep your hands on the knife, look up and smile—you’ll probably need to hold the pose for several minutes while all the guests get their photos.
Even if you plan to have cupcakes or macarons instead of a cake, it’s nice to have a small cake so you can make the ceremonial cut. However, there’s no reason you have to have a wedding cake at all – perhaps your venue is known for a particularly fabulous type of dessert which you’d rather serve your guests. But if you do decide to have the wedding cake your guests will expect you to cut it…let them cut cake!
Peacock Paradise
Monday, July 11th, 2011 | media, testimonials, trends, weddings | No Comments
We’re thrilled to be featured again in Weddings in Alberta.
The Proposal
Erin and Devlin first met at a party, ten years ago. Seating was tight and they ended up sitting together. They hit it off, but Erin started to feel a bit under the weather. After he helped her to the bathroom throughout the evening, she knew that Devlin was a keeper. After dating for nearly 8 years, during which time Erin had lost her father, the couple knew it was time to tie the knot but a large, extravagant wedding was the last thing on their minds. Deciding to elope, they booked a trip to Vegas, Erin bought a little white dress at the mall, and they started telling people. Those reactions planted a little seed of doubt in the couple’s minds as to whether or not eloping was the right thing to do. After telling her best friend and seeing a mixture of happy and sad in her reaction, Erin and Devlin realized how important it was to have all their family and friends celebrate with them. They didn’t decide until the last minute possible whether they were going to go through with the wedding—but when they came across the perfect engagement ring at a store in Vegas, everything felt right. When they showed the engagement ring to family when they returned, without a matching wedding band, everyone was excited and relieved. And so, the planning for a wedding to take place two and a half years later began.
The Wedding
Drawn towards modern design and technology while sharing a love for classic architecture, Erin and Devlin knew they needed to have a mix of old and new in their wedding style. After selecting the Hotel Arts as their reception space, they found inspiration in the natural, modern elements the venue shows off. Selecting a peacock-inspired colour palette that prominently featured teal, brown, navy blue, and gold allowed some fun and whimsy to be introduced into their big day. With the help of The Wedding Planner, Inc, the wedding was perfectly designed and coordinated. The ceremony took place in an intimate photography studio, incorporating many personal touches. With a small wedding party consisting of just a best man, maid of honour, and bridesmaid, the couple was happy to share their day with the friends that have known them the longest.
The Wedding Planner, Inc. designed a fabulous reception, using copper pintuck linens, teal table runners, and green napkins to tie into the peacock feather colour scheme. Plus, peacock feathers were added throughout the room, resting at each place setting, added into Erin’s bouquet, and even used as the design for a custom gobo on the dance floor. The finishing touches were candelabras placed on each table, an iced martini bar, a four tiered cake decorated with damask-patterned fondant that matched the linens on the head table, and an elaborate candy buffet, complete with custom labels and glassine bags. The couple served food based on their culinary love, choosing appetizers that represented international flavours they had fallen in love with while traveling abroad, and made sure to serve classic Alberta beef tenderloin as a main course. Plans for a dance-filled reception were made to honour Erin’s Pakistani heritage. When they started their planning, the couple knew that her family really wanted to celebrate and all they could hope for was to uphold the family tradition of a memorable wedding—and although they froze up during their first dance and forgot everything they learned in their dance lessons, the party went on!
The Fashion
After she fell in love with a budget-busting dress and making the tough choice not to spend the money on it, Erin kept looking and looking. She lucked out when she found this sample dress from Pronovias at Mina’s Bridal and loved it. The sweetheart neckline gown featured lace appliqués on the bust and hem, and was perfect for her trash-the-dress session with f8 Photography in the hotel pool to morning after the wedding. She added bright blue heels, a birdcage veil, and a colourful bouquet with a small silver picture frame attached, holding a photo of her father who passed away a few years ago.
http://weddingsinalberta.com/realweddings.php?articleId=689&image=14
will you marry me?
Sunday, June 5th, 2011 | etiquette | No Comments
Thank you to Peter Post for these great tips for the perfect proposal!
Countdown to Proposing
Peter Post’s 10 Day Proposing Plan
From the ring and flowers to what to wear and how to ask, Peter gives men the advice they need to get through the big moment.
Day 10: Make a Plan
Decide on the who, what, when, where and why of how you will ask her to marry you. A public place or a private setting? First thing in the morning or late at night? Think about what suits your personalities and relationship. Keep in mind, this is a story she will be telling for the rest of her life and you want her to be proud to tell it. But at the same time, the more complex a plan you concoct, the more difficult to pull off.
Day 9: The Ring
You’ve got two options here: pick the ring you know she’ll love or go with something basic and let her choose the setting and band once she’s said yes. If you go with the latter, remember that this is not an insult to your jewelry selection capabilities. You want to make sure it’s the ring she wants.
Day 8: To Ask or Not to Ask - Permission from Her Dad
Individual circumstances determine whether you should ask permission from her father, either alone or with your intended, or if you should simply announce your plans together. Be respectful of the culture and traditions of your future wife’s family. This will help you decide the most appropriate course of action.
Day 7: Schedule Her In
Don’t forget to make plans with her for the big day. It would be pretty embarrassing to go through all this effort and then have her tell you “I’m not available that night, I have yoga class till 8:30 p.m.”
Day 6: Dress
Figure out what you’re going to wear. Make sure it’s clean and pressed. Shoes polished. Hole-free socks. Get a haircut. Shave. You want to look and feel your best.
Day 5: Flowers
There’s only one choice: red roses. Lots and lots of red roses. And remember, even if you think flowers don’t matter, they do.
Day 4: Food
To cook or go out? Don’t cook. Think about it. You want to focus on her, not on cooking. Make a reservation at the nicest restaurant you can afford. Try not to be a nervous wreck, hopefully you’ll enjoy the meal. If you’re planning to pop the question there, ask the maitre d’ for a quiet table.
Day 3: Wine
This is clearly a champagne occasion. Pop the question early and then order a bottle to celebrate. You can even call ahead and arrange to have the sommelier bring the champagne out once you’ve proposed.
Day 2: Practice
Think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Decide if you’re a down-on-one-knee kind of guy. Visualize what’s going to happen. You’ve established a plan for the dinner, now think about how you’re going to actually pull this off. Make sure you know how to get to where you are going. Remember these could be some of the most important words she hears from you, so make them memorable.
Day 1: Just Do It!
Give yourself time to get ready. Don’t forget the ring. Do plan on having a night the two of you will always remember. Look her in the eye and speak from the heart. Enjoy the moment!
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