{"id":453,"date":"2010-02-27T15:18:07","date_gmt":"2010-02-27T22:18:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/?p=453"},"modified":"2010-02-27T15:18:07","modified_gmt":"2010-02-27T22:18:07","slug":"whos-paying-for-all-this-exactly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/2010\/02\/whos-paying-for-all-this-exactly\/","title":{"rendered":"Who’s Paying For All This Exactly??"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of our new clients mentioned that they were really stressed about figuring out who is supposed to pay for what at the wedding. This is a question that clients used to ask me ALL the time \u2013 but in the last 5 or 6 years it actually hasn\u2019t come up very often, or only in regards to the rehearsal dinner or one small detail.
\nA good portion of our clients are paying for the wedding themselves so if their parents contribute any money it\u2019s just a nice bonus, but when an engaged couple is counting on their families to pay for most or all of the wedding it can be a sticky topic for a number of reasons.
\n\"wedding-budget-piggybank-main_full\"
\nIt\u2019s rarely the case that both families have similar financial circumstances, and some families wish to stick to a very traditional division of costs where other families don\u2019t have the slightest idea who is supposed to pay for what. All of these elements can conspire to cause the couple a lot of stress \u2013 even just bringing up the subject of the financial obligations can cause even the calmest couple some sleepless nights.
\nTraditionally, of course, the bride\u2019s family assumed the burden of most wedding costs \u2013 probably a vestige of the practice of providing a large dowry to attract a good husband (!!). However, these days only about 25% of weddings are paid for solely by the bride\u2019s parents.
\nToday, almost 70% of weddings are paid for either by the couple or by some combination of both sets of parents. It\u2019s now VERY common for both families to share the costs equally, or for the bride and groom to pay for all of the expenses themselves.
\nIf you do want financial help from your families to pay for the wedding, you must keep in mind you must be wiling to compromise on some of your wishes for your wedding. Although it can be a difficult subject to broach this subject with your parents \u2013 do your best to keep the conversation calm & dignified\u2026it\u2019s amazing how grievances that arise during the engagement can linger far past the actual wedding\u2026whatever happens, whoever pays\u2026just remember these people are going to be your family for the rest of your life so tread lightly!
\nIf age-old tradition is ruling the financial structure of your wedding, here is the TRADITIONAL DIVISION OF COSTS from Emily Post\u2019s Wedding Etiquette:
\nThe Bride & Her Family:
\n\u2022\tservices of a wedding consultant
\n\u2022\tinvitations, enclosures, announcements
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s wedding gown & accessories
\n\u2022\tfloral decorations for ceremony & reception
\n\u2022\tbridesmaids\u2019 flowers
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s bouquet
\n\u2022\tformal wedding photos
\n\u2022\tvideographer
\n\u2022\tmusic for church & reception
\n\u2022\ttransportation of bridal party to & from ceremony
\n\u2022\tall reception expenses
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s gifts to her attendants
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s gift to groom
\n\u2022\tgroom\u2019s wedding ring
\n\u2022\tceremony rentals
\n\u2022\tcost of soloists
\n\u2022\ttransportation of bridal party to reception
\n\u2022\taccommodations for bride\u2019s attendants
\n\u2022\tbridesmaids\u2019 luncheon<\/p>\n

The Groom & His Family:
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s engagement ring
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s wedding ring
\n\u2022\tgifts for groom\u2019s attendants
\n\u2022\tties for groom\u2019s attendants if not part of rental package
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s bouquet (in regions where this is the custom)
\n\u2022\tbride\u2019s going-away corsage
\n\u2022\tboutonnieres for groom\u2019s attendants
\n\u2022\tcorsages for immediate members of both families
\n\u2022\tofficiant\u2019s fee or church donation
\n\u2022\ttransportation & lodging expenses for the officiant if required & invited to officiate by groom\u2019s family
\n\u2022\tmarriage license
\n\u2022\ttransportation for groom and best man to ceremony
\n\u2022\thoneymoon
\n\u2022\tall costs of rehearsal dinner
\n\u2022\taccommodations for groom\u2019s attendants
\n\u2022\tbachelor dinner (if groom wishes to have one)
\n\u2022\ttransportation and lodging for groom\u2019s immediate family*<\/p>\n

Bridesmaids\/Honour Attendants:
\n\u2022\tpurchase of apparel and all accessories
\n\u2022\ttransportation to and from city where wedding takes place
\n\u2022\ta contribution to a gift from bridesmaids to bride
\n\u2022\tindividual gift to couple (if being in the wedding is not the gift)
\n\u2022\tshower\/luncheon for bride<\/p>\n

Ushers\/Groomsmen\/Best Man:
\n\u2022\trental\/purchase of wedding attire
\n\u2022\ttransportation to and from city where wedding takes place
\n\u2022\ta contribution to a gift from groomsmen to groom
\n\u2022\tindividual gift to couple (if being in the wedding is not the gift)
\n\u2022\tbachelor party for groom<\/p>\n

Out-of-town guests:
\n\u2022\ttransportation to & from wedding
\n\u2022\tlodging expenses
\n\u2022\twedding gift<\/p>\n

* just as a total aside \u2013 it always makes me crazy when I watch \u201cFather of the Bride\u201d and Diane Keaton tells Steve Martin they have to pay for all of the groom\u2019s family to fly in from Denmark\u2026NO!!! No you don\u2019t!! Whether you\u2019re following old traditions or new \u2013 or none for that matter \u2013 unless you happen to own an airlines\u2026that would be just stupid\u2026but artistic license I guess \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of our new clients mentioned that they were really stressed about figuring out who is supposed to pay for what at the wedding. This is a question that clients used to ask me ALL the time \u2013 but in the last 5 or 6 years it actually hasn\u2019t come up very often, or only […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,4],"tags":[27,152,15,30,47],"class_list":["post-453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-etiquette","category-trends","tag-calgary-weddings","tag-division-of-wedding-expenses","tag-lisa-hanslip","tag-the-wedding-planner","tag-wedding-etiquette"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/453","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=453"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":455,"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/453\/revisions\/455"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.askaweddingplanner.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}