newlywed pitfalls
7 Relationship Mistakes Even the Smartest Couples Make
Wednesday, September 28th, 2011 | Q&A, Uncategorized | No Comments
I always believe it is important to discuss things with your future spouse before they become an issue…less chance for a heated argument – and more opportunity to discover where you’re both coming from. My husband & I sometimes teach marriage prep classes so I’m a big believer in discuss, discuss, discuss….but just in case you haven’t discussed…here are some helpful tips from our friends at thenest.com:
Mistake #1: Not Dealing With Debt
Newsflash: Money is the #1 thing couples fight about. Fess up about your personal debt — because for better or worse — and then set up a financial game plan.
Mistake #2: Alienating Your Friends
Friends are key for a successful marriage, so tag along on those girls’ nights out. Just because you’re not guy-hunting doesn’t mean you can’t be a supportive wingwoman.
Mistake #3: Not Having Enough Sex
Over 60 percent of newlyweds we surveyed were already in a sex rut! Yeah, you’re busy, but that’s not a good enough excuse not to get busy. Initiate sex, even if you don’t feel like it or have to schedule it. If you get in the habit of having it, you’ll start wanting it (and liking it) more.
Mistake #4: Letting Yourself Go
So you put on the “newlywed nine.” Big whoop…you’ve already found your mate, right? Wrong! Make a plan to get fit together or at least respect each other’s goals.
Mistake #5: Outlawing the In-Laws
Fifty percent of couples we surveyed have a problematic relationship with their in-laws (ya think?). Manage expectations, like saying you’ll call on Sundays so his mom doesn’t guilt-trip you for ignoring her weekday messages. Even if your spouse is bitching about his family, resist the urge to chime in. It’ll bite you in the butt later.
Mistake #6: Crazy Fighting
Getting hitched isn’t a free pass to hit below the belt (sorry!). When you’re getting really heated, walk away to cool down for a few minutes.
Mistake #7: Becoming Baby-Obsessed
It’s easy to fixate on that next big step, but chill out — the average couple has a kid within three years of marriage. So really, why rush? Savor the moments (and vacations you can take!) now…when you won’t have to be waking up for a brutal 4 a.m. feeding.
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