Q&A
balancing the wedding budget with etiquette
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
Personal Finance
Balancing the wedding budget with etiquette
Roma Luciw
From Monday’s Globe and Mail
Published Sunday, Jul. 31, 2011
When Laura Helm gets married this fall, she plans to do it all for under $5,000.
The 45-year-old Oshawa bride is tying the knot in front of 65 people on a Friday that falls on Remembrance Day, which made the venue and caterer cheaper. The guest list is mostly family, and single people were not asked to bring a date.
“We want to get married. We just don’t want to spend a fortune doing it,” says Ms. Helm, especially since it is the second marriage for each of them.
To cover their alcohol costs, they will have a “toonie bar” – where guests pay $2 for their drinks while the couple pays for the rest.
Lisa Hanslip of the Wedding Planner Inc. in Calgary says that while she encourages couples to have a budget, adhering to proper wedding etiquette is equally important.
For instance, keeping the guest list down by inviting people without kids or dates is completely acceptable, but she discourages couples from having a cash bar.
Ms. Hanslip offers these financial tips for people planning or attending a wedding this summer:
Gift: Cash or flatware?
While it is acceptable for guests to give money as a wedding present, it is definitely not all right for the bride and groom to ask for it. For instance, mentioning in the invitation where you are registered or that you are interested in getting cash is considered gauche. It’s the job of the bridal party and close family to disseminate information about gift-registries, etc., but only if the guests ask. Ultimately, guests are free to buy whatever gift they want.
How much should you spend?
This depends on two things: how well you know the couple and your financial circumstances. While it also depends on what part of the country you’re in, $50 to $150 per guest is a good range. If a couple registers, they should have items at many price points – no one wants to spend $200 on one silver teaspoon.
Can you ask the parents to kick in?
It’s definitely acceptable to ask parents for money to help with the wedding. Remember: If you’re going to ask for a monetary contribution, be prepared to receive their input.
Can I do a wedding brunch?
You can sometimes find a more budget-friendly venue option by considering a non-Saturday wedding. For instance, hosting your event on a Sunday morning for brunch can be charming and also help you save significantly on alcohol costs. If you’re considering a Carmel hotel wedding venue, this approach could be especially advantageous.
Is it all right to have a cash bar?
If you can’t afford to feed and serve drinks to all of your guests, you are inviting too many people. If you absolutely must have a cash bar, opt for a toonie bar after dinner so your guests will still feel like guests and can opt to leave after dinner before they’ll need to fish out their wallets.
Can we invite singles without a date?
If you are having a small or medium-sized wedding, it is absolutely fine to invite singles without a date. In fact, trimming your guest list is the best way to keep your budget in check. Kids are not invited, unless they’re specifically mentioned on the invitation. As a guest, you should respect the couple’s wishes for an elegant soiree sans children and get a babysitter.
Are gifts for guests necessary?
A small take-home gift from the bride and groom is increasingly the norm, but it certainly isn’t a requirement. The cutesy little favours are almost always a waste of money – less than half usually even leave the reception site, and most end up in the trash the next day. Some couples are now replacing the favour with a charitable donation.
Do bridesmaids’ dresses have to match?
If your bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, you must keep their financial circumstances in mind. Consider deciding on a colour and length and then letting them choose their own dresses – they are less likely to resent paying for them, and they are more likely to wear the dresses again. Agreeing to be part of a wedding party can be a huge financial burden. The cost of a stagette, a shower gift, a wedding gift and the wedding-day outfit can quickly add up.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-investor/personal-finance/balancing-the-wedding-budget-with-etiquette/article2115702/
fight fair
Monday, March 14th, 2011 | Q&A, Uncategorized | No Comments
You can live in a fantasy world, where you think you will never disagree. Why? Because “We just love each other so much.” Well, guess what? That is just not reality. The only way a marriage will never have confrontation is if your spouse always gives in and never challenges anything you do. If this is you, prepare yourself: this is a sign of a very unhealthy marriage.
Since disagreement and confrontations will inevitably come up in your marriage, a great idea is to set some guidelines that will help you through those times and come out as a stronger couple and partnership.
The way you approach a disagreement will largely depend on 2 things:
The Way You Were Raised
When I was younger, I thought all issues in the world were resolved the way my dad confronted them. We would sit down and unemotionally go over whatever the problem was until it was resolved. This method was quite foreign to my wife’s family experience. If I saw something in Carol that I thought was important to confront, it was best for me to package it into a short and concise statement, and then leave it with her. Trying to talk it through on the spot (like I would have with my father) only made the matters worse. We both came to realize very early in our marriage that neither of our family experiences was going to be the model that worked for us.
How was your family experience different from your partner’s? Did you come from a broken home where issues didn’t get resolved? No matter how you were brought up, you can find something that works for your marriage. It is never fun to be confronted, but since it is going to happen, ask your partner the method they would most prefer.
Your Personality Type
There are some people that love to confront and others that try to avoid it. If you are a confronter, pause for a moment and ask yourself if the issue is worth raising. What is your motivation? Is your purpose to help your spouse become a better person, or do you just want them to change to be more like you?
On the other hand, if you’re avoiding confrontation, is that simply because you’re afraid of it? Would your relationship stand on healthier ground if you were to discuss the issue? If you avoid confrontation, you are not doing your marriage any favours. Your spouse will often never know what bothers you unless you tell him or her. By just stewing about something instead of dealing with it, the problem only grows.
Timing is everything.
Here are a few ideas to help you pick the right time:
Don’t start talking about a contentious issue as you are going out. You will ruin your evening if you don’t have enough time to resolve things, and you’ll dwell on the issue the entire time.
Don’t let a problem be the first thing you raise after getting together after work. Let those first moments be kept for showing each other how excited you are see each other.
Never pick a time when there are others around. It will be awkward for them and embarrassing for your spouse.
If you are not ready to deal with something, tell your spouse that you would like to give it a bit of time to think. If you are going to push it off for a while, tell your partner how much time you need. You can’t avoid issues forever and expect a happy marriage.
One last thing: Never attack the person.
There are words to avoid, which if used, will prolong your agony and leave battle scars. Avoid phrases like, “You always” and “You never.” They are rarely true and will provide something else to argue about.
Avoid words that attack the person and not the problem. By saying, “You are a slob,” you’re attacking the person, but by saying “Your actions are messy,” you address the problem. Similarly, “You’re such a crab” attacks the person, but “You seem to be complaining a lot,” addresses the problem.
If you are prone to getting angry, practise talking slower and at a lower pitch. The goal is not to out-shout your spouse, but to help him or her see things from another perspective, or find some middle ground that you can both live with.
When a resolution is found, apologies may be needed (depending on what has transpired) before you can move on. I heard a story of a husband coming to his wife saying,“I’m sorry.” Her response came with a wagging of her finger: “I’ve seen sorry, and this isn’t it.” Make sure your apology is sincere and heart-felt. If you have wronged your spouse, an “I’m sorry” doesn’t always cut it. You will need to use the words, “Will you forgive me?” It is humbling to say this, but necessary to put it behind you.
After all is said and apologies are made, let the fun part begin. Disagreements are so much easier to take if you know that making up will follow. Since disagreements will come, and maybe some heated verbal exchanges as well, take comfort that you are not alone and working through these issues will only make your marriage stronger.
Source: Parrott, Less III and Leslie Parrott. “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (and After) You Marry.” Zondervan, 1995.
etiquette, shmetiquette!
Monday, January 24th, 2011 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
As you all know I’m a stickler for etiquette…we love to do things “properly” – but we’re never about doing things just for the sake of doing them. Just because the last 10 weddings you attended did something doesn’t mean you have to…in fact, that sounds like a fabulous reason NOT to do it…and it certainly doesn’t mean it was correct from an etiquette stand point.
Originally published in “Ask the Expert” | Weddings in Alberta | January, 2011.
Q: We recently went to register for our wedding and the store clerk offered us registry enclosure cards to include in our invitations. Is this acceptable?
A: No, no, a thousand times, no! It may seem helpful, but it is never acceptable to enclose a registry notice or gift wish list with your invitation. Never. Ever.
One of the major etiquette questions is the method of informing your guests about your registries. Stores perpetuate this etiquette no-no by offering you these invitation enclosures, which can be offensive to guests. Your gift registry can be one of the most fun aspects of planning your wedding (“Here, honey, just point this gun at things and voila, they’re on our wish list!”), but it can also prove to be an etiquette minefield.
You may prefer to receive money, which is traditional in many cultures, or contributions to your honeymoon fund, but you cannot tell your guests what to give you. It is just not polite to request gifts of any kind. Giving a wedding gift is the socially acceptable thing to do—but no one is really obligated to buy you a gift. Informing your guests what kind of gift you would like at the same time you are inviting them to your wedding is like telling them the gift is more important than their attendance.
The way to let people know where you’re registered is via word of mouth. Make sure your bridal party and family know where you are registered or if you have a preference for a more non-traditional gift. Then you have to wait until someone asks where you are registered, and just cross your fingers! It is also acceptable to put registry information on your wedding website if you plan to have one during your engagement.
Q: We were a bit unsure what to choose when we made our gift registry. Help!
A: Today’s engaged couples often have established households of their own, so a registry is an excellent way for your guests to know what you actually need (Oh look! Another toaster! Everyone needs four toasters, don’t they?). Make sure you think carefully about what you actually need and make a wish list that is agreeable to both you and your partner. Your guests have different budgets, so register for items in a variety of price ranges. You cannot expect all of your guests to spring for that $400 food processor, or that they will be happy buying you one teaspoon because at $100 a piece because it is the only thing on your registry they can afford. A thoughtful gift registry gives everyone the opportunity to buy you something you will love.
These days, it is also perfectly acceptable to register for nontraditional items such as hardware, sporting goods, charitable donations, or, yes, even the honeymoon. Keep in mind, though, that although lifestyle gifts are appropriate, some people are going to prefer giving you something tangible.
Q: I’m having trouble choosing a dress for my 10 bridesmaids. I want them all in the same dress but how do I choose one that will look good on all of them? Do I have to pay for all of them? Should they match my wedding gown?
A: Just like most things in life, one size usually doesn’t fit all—and one dress won’t suit all, unless your bridesmaids have similar body types. When it comes to your attendants’ attire, uniformity is nice, it’s expected, but it’s absolutely not necessary. In fact, mixing up the styles a bit is practically the norm these days. At the very least, it is nice to set your maid of honour apart by choosing a different dress in the same colour or the same dress in a different colour.
Choosing a bridesmaid dress shouldn’t be looked at as an opportunity for retribution for that frilly sea-foam green number taunting you from the back of your closet. Be nice. These are your friends. Most women are initially thrilled when asked to be a bridesmaid, but if they’ve ever been a bridesmaid before, inside their head they’re groaning, ‘What is she going to make me wear?’ Consider choosing a colour and/or style grouping from one designer and letting your bridesmaids choose which one they feel best suits them. That way, as it will be the same fabric and the same general style, they will look similar, but your best friend won’t be hiding in the corner all evening for fear of falling out of the strapless dress you’ve chosen for her.
The bridesmaid dress should match the formality of your dress—so don’t put them in a sundress if you’re wearing a formal gown with a train—but it is no longer necessary to have your attendants’ dresses emulate your gown. Bridesmaids’ dresses not only used to match the wedding gown, but were identical to it, as the original purpose for a bridesmaid was to confuse the evil spirits. These days, they’re there for moral support and to look pretty walking down the aisle.
It is expected that the bridesmaids will cover the cost of their own attire; however, some brides opt to pay, depending on the cost of the dress they’ve chosen or the financial circumstances of their friends. So, unless you are planning to foot the bill yourself, be kind with both style and price. And, by the way, feel free just to have three or four bridesmaids, not ten—you don’t need all of your guests standing at the front with you!
ask the expert
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
Weddings in Alberta is launching its first issue this month.
http://weddingsinalberta.com/articles.php?articleId=429
We’re excited to see everything in print. It is monthly so it should be very popular with the brides!
Bride vs. Murphy’s Law…bets anyone?
Monday, June 7th, 2010 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
Q. My sister got married last weekend and it seemed like every possible thing that could go wrong, did. The make-up artist showed up really late, the beautiful vintage car she had booked broke down, the Videographer missed the entire processional and shot the whole thing focused on the back of their heads, the hotel misplaced their engraved cake knife, and the bridesmaids’ dresses didn’t arrive until 2 days after the wedding. I’m getting married in the spring and although I wasn’t worried about anything, I’m now terrified about all the things that can go wrong. Is there any way to make sure these things don’t happen at my wedding?
A. Yikes! Your sister is apparently the Murphy’s Law poster-child. It’s difficult to plan a wedding without something going awry along the way (and thankfully equally hard to plan a wedding with everything going wrong). A lot of the mishaps at your sister’s wedding could not have been prevented – but planning for acceptable alternatives can help.
Most contracts are written to protect the vendor not the client, so keep that in mind when you’re reading them over. There is almost always a clause pertaining to the “what ifs…” – think about what contingency would make you happy – and don’t be shy to at least suggest it to them. For example, if the car you booked breaks down or is otherwise unavailable – ask to have it written into your contract that the driver will come fetch you in an ancient Egyptian litter (a la Cleopatra) rather than merely substituting a car of equal value. It is highly unlikely they will actually agree to this, mind you, but the mere thought of it may give your sister some satisfaction.
Before booking any vendor, ask about their background, and don’t choose simply based on price. Discuss potential problems with them at the time – it is a lot less stressful to think about these things prior to your wedding.
To help deal with any hiccups on your big day, have a list of all the vendors involved and contact numbers. Another great way to help alleviate stress: Have an emergency kit so you can tackle any last minute problems like a torn dress (which you caught on the door as you were running in because your limo broke down), too few boutonnieres (because the florist didn’t think you were actually serious about there being 12 groomsmen), a missing ring (because the jeweller didn’t quite finish and you don’t want to have to borrow your cousin’s skull ring), or bad breath (because corn nuts are your favorite comfort food – and it seemed like a good idea this morning ).
So…read over your contracts….then pucker up and enjoy that first kiss (breath mint anyone?)!
always a bridesman, never a….??
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
I know I’ve already blogged about having male bridesmaids and honour attendants of the opposite sex – but as it came up again in a recent meeting with a client I thought it bears repeating. I think my first experience with this was a female “best man” in the mid-nineties sometime. She wore a floor-length strapless black gown and looked just lovely – and not even a little out of place – standing between the groom and the groomsmen.
I feel very strongly that you have the person or persons that mean most to you standing next to you while you get married – regardless of gender. You don’t need to have 4 attendants because your soon-to-be spouse is having 4 attendants. You don’t have to have them all in the same outfit (in fact, please don’t!!) – it’s great to infuse some character into your bridal party. And, you definitely don’t have to have female attendants because you’re the bride, nor male attendants because you’re the groom. We have had lots of “men of honour”s and “best women” over the years and it’s always perfectly appropriate – regardless if you’re having a religious or secular ceremony.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, MARCH 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
The long road from happy engagement to wedded bliss is paved with potential etiquette faux pas. Wedding planner Lisa Hanslip is here to help you resist your inner Bridezilla along the way.
Q: I’m having a very hard time choosing a maid of honour. I have a few girlfriends that I’m fairly close to, but my very best friend is a guy. We’ve known each other since junior high – and he’s seen me through everything. Would it be weird to choose him instead of a maid of honour? Should he just dress like the groomsmen? Will I give my grandmother a heart attack?
A: Unconventional, yes! Unexpected, you bet! Acceptable, absolutely!
You want your honour attendant – whether it is a maid of honour, matron of honour or man of honour – to be the person to whom you feel closest. You should choose your best friend, the person you want standing beside you on your big day – not the friend that would look best in the bridesmaid dress.
If you choose a man to be your honour attendant – you may opt to eliminate some of the “typical” duties like hosting your bridal shower, or helping you get into your wedding gown. But the most important part of the job description is being supportive and serving as the legal witness to your marriage.
Choosing your attendants can often be a difficult process – for the bride and the groom. There may be family politics involved. Or, like some, you may have served as a bridesmaid for a dozen of your friends and family members and feel obligated to ask them to stand up for you in return. Well…don’t.
This is your day – and although it is impossible to accommodate everyone’s wishes – you can’t make your choices based on not wanting to offend someone. You can’t make everyone happy – nor can you make everyone your bridesmaid – so just choose those you are currently closest to. You can always assign tasks – like doing a reading or taking care of the guest book – to those you want to feel special and included in your wedding but aren’t in the bridal party.
When you decide on the attire for your attendants, he can wear a suit or tuxedo and coordinate his tie to the other bridesmaids. This scenario also holds true for the groom. It is also perfectly acceptable to have a woman be the best “man.” A best “woman” looks great in a black strapless gown to coordinate with the other groomsmen.
So, feel free to choose your best guy friend or brother to stand up for you at your wedding. Just keep your “man of honour” away from the lavender chiffon and size 11 purple pumps – and your grandmother’s heart should be just fine!
The Good, The Bad & The Downright Scary…
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 | etiquette, Q&A | No Comments
One of our brides is currently having some bridesmaid “issues” so we thought this might be useful.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, MARCH 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
The long road from happy engagement to wedded bliss is paved with potential etiquette faux pas. Wedding planner Lisa Hanslip is here to help you resist your inner Bridezilla along the way.
Q: I’m having trouble choosing a dress for my 10 bridesmaids. I want them all in the same dress but how do I choose one that will look good on all of them? Do I have to pay for all of them? Do they need to match my wedding gown?
A: Just like most things in life – one size usually doesn’t fit all – and one dress won’t suit all unless your bridesmaids have similar body types. When it comes to your attendants’ attire – uniformity is nice, it’s expected, but absolutely not necessary. In fact, mixing up the styles a bit is practically the norm these days. At the very least, it is nice to set your maid of honour apart by choosing a different dress in the same colour or the same dress in a different colour.
Choosing a bridesmaid dress shouldn’t be looked at as an opportunity for retribution for that frilly sea-foam green number taunting you from the back of your closet. Be nice. These are your friends. Most women are initially thrilled when asked to be a bridesmaid, but if they’ve ever been a bridesmaid before, inside their head they’re groaning (What is she going to make me wear?). Consider choosing a colour and style grouping from one designer and letting your bridesmaids choose which one they feel best suits them. That way, as it will be the same fabric and the same general style, they will look matching , but your best friend won’t be hiding in the corner all evening for fear of falling out of the strapless dress you’ve chosen for her.
The bridesmaid dress should match the formality of your dress – so don’t put them in a sundress if you’re wearing a formal gown with a train – but it is no longer necessary to have your attendant’s dresses emulate your gown. Bridesmaid’s dresses not only used to match the wedding gown – but were identical. The original purpose for a bridesmaid was to confuse the evil spirits. These days, they’re there for moral support and to look pretty walking down the aisle.
It is expected that the bridesmaids will cover the cost of their own attire, however some brides opt to pay, depending on the cost of the dress they’ve chosen, or the financial circumstances of their friends. So, unless you are planning to foot the bill yourself – be kind with both style and price. And, by the way, feel free just to have three or four bridesmaids, not ten – you don’t need all of your guests standing at the front with you!
One family’s zoo is another family’s small gathering
Sunday, October 11th, 2009 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, JANUARY 2006, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
The long road from happy engagement to wedded bliss is paved with potential etiquette faux pas. Wedding planner Lisa Hanslip is here to help you resist your inner Bridezilla along the way.
Q. My fiancé and I are planning to get married in about eight months, but we haven’t made many plans yet because we can’t seem to agree on what the wedding should look like. As this is the second marriage for both of us I would like a small intimate event. My fiancé on the other hand comes from a very large family and is expecting a large celebration. Do you have any suggestions how we can plan a wedding that will make everyone happy?
A. A wedding is not just a celebration of the union of two people, but more often than not, it is the joining of two families – which brings with it a veritable treasure trove of opposing traditions and expectations. If the meeting of the in-laws doesn’t tragically mirror a scene from Meet the Fockers consider yourself lucky.
A good compromise in many situations is to split the difference – but I don’t think a medium-sized ceremony and reception will satisfy either side – you’ll still feel like the event was much bigger than you were hoping for (“There were 150 people at my wedding, it was a total zoo!”) – and your fiancé’s family will inevitably deem the moderate guest list too small (“How can we possibly have a proper wedding celebration with only 150 people?!?”).
You might consider having a small intimate ceremony with just your immediate family and closest friends followed by a large celebration later in the day. This way you’ll have the memory of a ceremony that reflected your sensibilities while your fiancé and his family can relish tales of the big bash.
Another option is to have the large wedding your fiancé’s family is hoping for, followed by a small gathering. Try a morning ceremony followed by a raucous afternoon reception – then in the evening you can sit down to an intimate dinner for just immediate family.
Whatever you decide to do – make sure it is a solution that doesn’t leave either of you disgruntled. Focus on what you two need from your day, even if that means ignoring your families. It doesn’t bode well if one of you spends your wedding night on the sofa (because that only leads to a honeymoon spent on the marriage counselor’s couch – and that’s no good for anybody).
Intimate or Immense…what’s a bride to do with the guest list?
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, MAY 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
Q: We chose a very small venue to have our reception and it was very difficult to get our guest list small enough. We all had to cut quite a few people we would love to be there – but it simply won’t accommodate any more people. A few of our friends (and our parents’ friends) are quite offended and upset about not being invited. How should we handle this?
A: When planning a wedding, making the guest list is frequently fraught with problems. The process of cutting down the guest list is, at best, the cause of making some hard choices, and at worst, absolutely agonizing. Most of the time it can be an emotional minefield for everyone:
• Mom, I don’t care if you envisioned my wedding having 400 guests – we only want 35.
• What do you mean you want to invite your ex-girlfriend?
• No Dad, I don’t want all 47 of my first cousins at the wedding.
• You mean I can’t invite 14 people from the office, what will I tell them?
You need to decide what is important – the venue or the number of guests. Have you always dreamed of an intimate wedding or is a huge bash more your style? If you have your heart set on a small wedding you have to be a little ruthless with the guest list.
If you’re having a wedding for 350 people – your friends have a right to be offended by their omission from the guest list – however, if you’ve chosen a venue that only holds 50 people – they should understand the size constraints – that you simply don’t have the option of including everyone. It is perfectly appropriate to host a wedding for just immediate family and a few close friends.
Remember a few things which should help before making the final decisions: Your wedding is not an opportunity for your parents to get payback for all the wedding gifts they’ve given and weddings they’ve attended over the years. It is also decidedly not an occasion for them to fulfill their social obligations (nothing makes a bride feel more special on her wedding day than a room full of her father’s business associates). It is also not appropriate to send invitations to a bunch of people you know will not be able to attend – it looks like a blatant plea for gifts.
In an ideal world, you could have your ideal wedding and everyone you’ve ever met could be invited – but unless heisting a Brinks truck is in your immediate future – your friends and family need to be understanding of the type of wedding you and your fiancé have chosen.
Eeeeek!! Hide your grooms…BRIDEZILLA has arrived!
Thursday, July 16th, 2009 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, JUNE 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
image credit: Alex Eben Meyer (http://www.eben.com)
Q. My best friend is getting married in a few months and I am so happy for her, but in the six months since she got engaged she’s changed into a totally different person. She never wants to discuss anything but the wedding and she’s obsessing about every single detail. Since I announced I’m pregnant she no longer wants me to be her bridesmaid because I won’t look good in the wedding photos. She’s gone completely crazy, is there anything I can do to snap her out of it?
A. Alas, I fear Bridezilla has reared her ugly head:
bridezilla (brId-ZILL-uh) n. A bride-to-be who, while planning her wedding, becomes exceptionally selfish, greedy, and obnoxious.
Bridezillas are a new breed of brides who abuse the idea that weddings are their day to get exactly what they want. They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette. Their sole desire is to be the single most important person on the planet from the time of engagement right up until the last dance at their wedding.
Here are some tell-tale signs that someone you love might be turning into a Bridezilla:
-The bride is incapable of discussing any subject other than her wedding.
-The bride barely eats so she can fit into her dress and then complains that she’s hungry all the time.
-The bride obsessively watches what her bridal party is eating and gasps every time anyone reaches for a cookie.
-The mother-of-the-bride and the maid-of-honour are beginning to feel like medieval footservants.
-The bride chooses couture bridesmaid dresses, even though most of her friends are on a budget. She does not, however, offer to pay.
-When the bride is discussing all the details of her wedding (which she does to every person who crosses her path) you can’t help but picture more “Bride of Frankenstein” than “Princess Bride.”
-The bride is thrilled when her groom is sent away on business (“Finally, he’ll stop interfering in all of my plans…”).
Your friend may have been the sweetest girl you knew before she got engaged, but once a bride falls to the dark side, there’s very little you can do but grin and breathe deeply (slipping the bride a valium couldn’t hurt either). So, take a deep breath and count the days until your friend returns to her normal self. In the meantime…be afraid, be very afraid.
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