media
etiquette, shmetiquette!
Monday, January 24th, 2011 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
As you all know I’m a stickler for etiquette…we love to do things “properly” – but we’re never about doing things just for the sake of doing them. Just because the last 10 weddings you attended did something doesn’t mean you have to…in fact, that sounds like a fabulous reason NOT to do it…and it certainly doesn’t mean it was correct from an etiquette stand point.
Originally published in “Ask the Expert” | Weddings in Alberta | January, 2011.
Q: We recently went to register for our wedding and the store clerk offered us registry enclosure cards to include in our invitations. Is this acceptable?
A: No, no, a thousand times, no! It may seem helpful, but it is never acceptable to enclose a registry notice or gift wish list with your invitation. Never. Ever.
One of the major etiquette questions is the method of informing your guests about your registries. Stores perpetuate this etiquette no-no by offering you these invitation enclosures, which can be offensive to guests. Your gift registry can be one of the most fun aspects of planning your wedding (“Here, honey, just point this gun at things and voila, they’re on our wish list!”), but it can also prove to be an etiquette minefield.
You may prefer to receive money, which is traditional in many cultures, or contributions to your honeymoon fund, but you cannot tell your guests what to give you. It is just not polite to request gifts of any kind. Giving a wedding gift is the socially acceptable thing to do—but no one is really obligated to buy you a gift. Informing your guests what kind of gift you would like at the same time you are inviting them to your wedding is like telling them the gift is more important than their attendance.
The way to let people know where you’re registered is via word of mouth. Make sure your bridal party and family know where you are registered or if you have a preference for a more non-traditional gift. Then you have to wait until someone asks where you are registered, and just cross your fingers! It is also acceptable to put registry information on your wedding website if you plan to have one during your engagement.
Q: We were a bit unsure what to choose when we made our gift registry. Help!
A: Today’s engaged couples often have established households of their own, so a registry is an excellent way for your guests to know what you actually need (Oh look! Another toaster! Everyone needs four toasters, don’t they?). Make sure you think carefully about what you actually need and make a wish list that is agreeable to both you and your partner. Your guests have different budgets, so register for items in a variety of price ranges. You cannot expect all of your guests to spring for that $400 food processor, or that they will be happy buying you one teaspoon because at $100 a piece because it is the only thing on your registry they can afford. A thoughtful gift registry gives everyone the opportunity to buy you something you will love.
These days, it is also perfectly acceptable to register for nontraditional items such as hardware, sporting goods, charitable donations, or, yes, even the honeymoon. Keep in mind, though, that although lifestyle gifts are appropriate, some people are going to prefer giving you something tangible.
Q: I’m having trouble choosing a dress for my 10 bridesmaids. I want them all in the same dress but how do I choose one that will look good on all of them? Do I have to pay for all of them? Should they match my wedding gown?
A: Just like most things in life, one size usually doesn’t fit all—and one dress won’t suit all, unless your bridesmaids have similar body types. When it comes to your attendants’ attire, uniformity is nice, it’s expected, but it’s absolutely not necessary. In fact, mixing up the styles a bit is practically the norm these days. At the very least, it is nice to set your maid of honour apart by choosing a different dress in the same colour or the same dress in a different colour.
Choosing a bridesmaid dress shouldn’t be looked at as an opportunity for retribution for that frilly sea-foam green number taunting you from the back of your closet. Be nice. These are your friends. Most women are initially thrilled when asked to be a bridesmaid, but if they’ve ever been a bridesmaid before, inside their head they’re groaning, ‘What is she going to make me wear?’ Consider choosing a colour and/or style grouping from one designer and letting your bridesmaids choose which one they feel best suits them. That way, as it will be the same fabric and the same general style, they will look similar, but your best friend won’t be hiding in the corner all evening for fear of falling out of the strapless dress you’ve chosen for her.
The bridesmaid dress should match the formality of your dress—so don’t put them in a sundress if you’re wearing a formal gown with a train—but it is no longer necessary to have your attendants’ dresses emulate your gown. Bridesmaids’ dresses not only used to match the wedding gown, but were identical to it, as the original purpose for a bridesmaid was to confuse the evil spirits. These days, they’re there for moral support and to look pretty walking down the aisle.
It is expected that the bridesmaids will cover the cost of their own attire; however, some brides opt to pay, depending on the cost of the dress they’ve chosen or the financial circumstances of their friends. So, unless you are planning to foot the bill yourself, be kind with both style and price. And, by the way, feel free just to have three or four bridesmaids, not ten—you don’t need all of your guests standing at the front with you!
ask the expert
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
Weddings in Alberta is launching its first issue this month.
http://weddingsinalberta.com/articles.php?articleId=429
We’re excited to see everything in print. It is monthly so it should be very popular with the brides!
to destination or not to destination….
Monday, September 27th, 2010 | etiquette, media, travel | No Comments
I’ve been interviewed numerous times on the issue of destination weddings – including a 2 part piece on global news…but this is the first time I’ve written about it.
Here is an article from the latest edition of The Calgary Bridal Guide…enjoy!
calgary bridal guide – featured wedding #1
Monday, August 30th, 2010 | media, testimonials, weddings | No Comments
We were thrilled to see the very first featured wedding in the latest issue of The Calgary Bridal Guide.
We loved this couple – we worked with them for about 17 months – and they were awesome.
Such a beautiful bride…!
…and we got to make all the details fun, ecclectic & just a little bit crazy…just like them!
Wedding Bells thinks we’re PERFECT!!
Friday, July 16th, 2010 | media, testimonials | No Comments
We got a wee mention in the latest edition of Wedding Bells Magazine that just hit the stands…can’t beat perfect…thanks Wedding Bells!!
Bride vs. Murphy’s Law…bets anyone?
Monday, June 7th, 2010 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
Q. My sister got married last weekend and it seemed like every possible thing that could go wrong, did. The make-up artist showed up really late, the beautiful vintage car she had booked broke down, the Videographer missed the entire processional and shot the whole thing focused on the back of their heads, the hotel misplaced their engraved cake knife, and the bridesmaids’ dresses didn’t arrive until 2 days after the wedding. I’m getting married in the spring and although I wasn’t worried about anything, I’m now terrified about all the things that can go wrong. Is there any way to make sure these things don’t happen at my wedding?
A. Yikes! Your sister is apparently the Murphy’s Law poster-child. It’s difficult to plan a wedding without something going awry along the way (and thankfully equally hard to plan a wedding with everything going wrong). A lot of the mishaps at your sister’s wedding could not have been prevented – but planning for acceptable alternatives can help.
Most contracts are written to protect the vendor not the client, so keep that in mind when you’re reading them over. There is almost always a clause pertaining to the “what ifs…” – think about what contingency would make you happy – and don’t be shy to at least suggest it to them. For example, if the car you booked breaks down or is otherwise unavailable – ask to have it written into your contract that the driver will come fetch you in an ancient Egyptian litter (a la Cleopatra) rather than merely substituting a car of equal value. It is highly unlikely they will actually agree to this, mind you, but the mere thought of it may give your sister some satisfaction.
Before booking any vendor, ask about their background, and don’t choose simply based on price. Discuss potential problems with them at the time – it is a lot less stressful to think about these things prior to your wedding.
To help deal with any hiccups on your big day, have a list of all the vendors involved and contact numbers. Another great way to help alleviate stress: Have an emergency kit so you can tackle any last minute problems like a torn dress (which you caught on the door as you were running in because your limo broke down), too few boutonnieres (because the florist didn’t think you were actually serious about there being 12 groomsmen), a missing ring (because the jeweller didn’t quite finish and you don’t want to have to borrow your cousin’s skull ring), or bad breath (because corn nuts are your favorite comfort food – and it seemed like a good idea this morning ).
So…read over your contracts….then pucker up and enjoy that first kiss (breath mint anyone?)!
Sex & the City 2 is such fun!
Thursday, May 27th, 2010 | media, travel, trends | No Comments
Went to see Sex & the City 2 last night…it was such fun…loved it!
The reviews are totally abysmal, I realize, but if you approach it with the right mindset you should really enjoy it. There’s a crazy over-the-top wedding which features Liza Minelli officiating.
There’s the ubiquitous SATC fabulous couture…and a LAVISH journey to Abu Dhabi. It’s worth watching just to see their suite!
A suite on the plane, chauffeur-driven Maybach, your own personal butler and a $22,000 a night suite – what more could one want on their Middle Eastern sojourn?
Wedding Bells Ad
Thursday, May 6th, 2010 | media | No Comments
Here is our new ad for Wedding Bells Magazine…it’s different than the one that will run in WedLuxe Magazine, Calgary Bride Magazine and Avenue Magazine…this will set the trend for our future ads though…we love it…hope you do too!
always a bridesman, never a….??
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 | etiquette, media, Q&A | No Comments
I know I’ve already blogged about having male bridesmaids and honour attendants of the opposite sex – but as it came up again in a recent meeting with a client I thought it bears repeating. I think my first experience with this was a female “best man” in the mid-nineties sometime. She wore a floor-length strapless black gown and looked just lovely – and not even a little out of place – standing between the groom and the groomsmen.
I feel very strongly that you have the person or persons that mean most to you standing next to you while you get married – regardless of gender. You don’t need to have 4 attendants because your soon-to-be spouse is having 4 attendants. You don’t have to have them all in the same outfit (in fact, please don’t!!) – it’s great to infuse some character into your bridal party. And, you definitely don’t have to have female attendants because you’re the bride, nor male attendants because you’re the groom. We have had lots of “men of honour”s and “best women” over the years and it’s always perfectly appropriate – regardless if you’re having a religious or secular ceremony.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE CALGARY HERALD, MARCH 2005, IN LISA HANSLIP’S COLUMN “I DO, BUT DON’T…”
The long road from happy engagement to wedded bliss is paved with potential etiquette faux pas. Wedding planner Lisa Hanslip is here to help you resist your inner Bridezilla along the way.
Q: I’m having a very hard time choosing a maid of honour. I have a few girlfriends that I’m fairly close to, but my very best friend is a guy. We’ve known each other since junior high – and he’s seen me through everything. Would it be weird to choose him instead of a maid of honour? Should he just dress like the groomsmen? Will I give my grandmother a heart attack?
A: Unconventional, yes! Unexpected, you bet! Acceptable, absolutely!
You want your honour attendant – whether it is a maid of honour, matron of honour or man of honour – to be the person to whom you feel closest. You should choose your best friend, the person you want standing beside you on your big day – not the friend that would look best in the bridesmaid dress.
If you choose a man to be your honour attendant – you may opt to eliminate some of the “typical” duties like hosting your bridal shower, or helping you get into your wedding gown. But the most important part of the job description is being supportive and serving as the legal witness to your marriage.
Choosing your attendants can often be a difficult process – for the bride and the groom. There may be family politics involved. Or, like some, you may have served as a bridesmaid for a dozen of your friends and family members and feel obligated to ask them to stand up for you in return. Well…don’t.
This is your day – and although it is impossible to accommodate everyone’s wishes – you can’t make your choices based on not wanting to offend someone. You can’t make everyone happy – nor can you make everyone your bridesmaid – so just choose those you are currently closest to. You can always assign tasks – like doing a reading or taking care of the guest book – to those you want to feel special and included in your wedding but aren’t in the bridal party.
When you decide on the attire for your attendants, he can wear a suit or tuxedo and coordinate his tie to the other bridesmaids. This scenario also holds true for the groom. It is also perfectly acceptable to have a woman be the best “man.” A best “woman” looks great in a black strapless gown to coordinate with the other groomsmen.
So, feel free to choose your best guy friend or brother to stand up for you at your wedding. Just keep your “man of honour” away from the lavender chiffon and size 11 purple pumps – and your grandmother’s heart should be just fine!
Are they serious???
Thursday, April 1st, 2010 | media | No Comments
I just got an email from one of our suppliers…a company that makes our custom tote bags – which are really lovely by the way…and this is what they sent:
All I can hope is that April 1st is the reason for this email and not that they’re exploring new business opportunities…because really…they can’t be serious…can they?
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